A Love Unknown
by Eruanna Eire
Summary: Everything she'd ever known was about to change.. R
1. Chapter 1

The Inland Sea was calm, its waters glittering a deep turquoise colour as the sunlight glinted over them. The endless blue of the sky was broken only by the occasional wispy white cloud as it drifted overhead. The sun itself gave off plenty of heat, enough to have the crew of the Queens' Honour working in their loose trousers, shirts long forgotten.

The '_Honour'_ was a merchant trade ship, bound for Carthak. It had a crew of seventeen, twelve sailors, four officers and the Captain. The vessel itself was of average size, made of a rich oak with sails the same colour as the clouds that so lazily floated overhead, the Tortallan flag crackling merrily in the slight breeze.

Captain Solomon stood proudly on the bridge and surveyed his crew; normally he was a silk merchant, transporting hundreds of yards of the finest material in the brightest colours between the two great nations of Tortall and Carthak. This journey however was different, as well as the fabric they had a guest, a noble lady. Not only a noble but royalty, the Lady Evelyn of Naxen travelled to Carthak in relative secrecy aboard his ship.

"Aven't seen 'er ladyship this morning yet Captain, 'spect she'll be visiting the deck soon enough though."

Solomon tore his eyes off the deck and focused them on his companion, "What leads you to believe that Brock?"

"Argh me and Archie saw her 'ttempt some o' cooks porridge this morning."

The Captain let out a rich bellow of laughter at the man's frank assessment, "Any minute now then… "

The lady in question flung herself somewhat unsteadily up the stairs, she lurched towards the rail and just made it in time to be violently sick over the edge for what seemed like the millionth time.

Her world seemed to tilt alarmingly on its axes as the ship rocked from side to side, desperate hands turned white knuckled as she clung to the railing. Her mouth felt dry and her hair was desperately trying to escape its bonds as the sharp sea breeze tugged at it. Blonde strands seemed to be everywhere to the overwrought noble, for a single copper she would have cut it off there and then.

Alice followed her young mistress onto the deck at a more sedate pace, pausing briefly to glare at the Captain and his sailor who at the sight of Evelyn had exchanged amused looks and wry comments.

"There you go Mam." Alice started at the boyish voice before recognising it as belonging to Martin, the youngest sailor aboard as he handed her a glass of water.

"Hope you don't mind me saying but she's a getting worse." The concern in Martin's voice was genuine, he had been smitten by the Lady Evelyn from the second she had set foot on the boat but four days (had it really only been four?) of constant seasickness had robbed her of her famous looks.

Alice sighed and gave the young man's arm a motherly pat, "No, I can see it too but don't you be worrying yourself, a day ashore and some solid meals she'll be right as rain."

As she made the short walk across the deck to the rail where Evelyn was standing Alice apprised the noblewoman that she'd known from the day of her birth. It had been a day of great joy in the Naxen household when Evelyn was born, having already borne three boys Cynthia had been delighted to finally have a girl child to bare the name of her deceased best friend. Over the years that joy had increased as Evelyn grew to be as fair and willowy as her namesake, now however even her mother would be hard pressed to find Evelyn's famed beauty.

Seasickness and the salt air had both taken their toll, while her face had been slim before and her figure willowy now she could only be described as gaunt and thin, her once luminous skin now ashen. While her hair was the same golden blonde, falling in loose curls to the middle of her back and her clothes were immaculate (Alice had a gift with fabrics; no article of clothing would dare to crease while she was in charge) her sparkle, the spirit that had made people stop to take second and then third look was conspicuous in its absence.

Evelyn took a deep shuddering breath, desperately trying to regain some composure. She started like a skitterish young filly when Alice firmly prised her hand off the railing and forced a glass of water into it. It was a trembling hand that raised the cool glass to cracked lips. After a couple of gulps the acid taste in her mouth abated. She turned from the rail and tried to smile.

"Thank-you, I don't know how I'd cope with out you Alice." Her smile turned into something like a grimace, her stomach was cramping, desperate for something of substance. The pain shot up her side in a flash. Pride and a lifetime of learning what it was to be a member of the royal family kept her from gasping and doubling over. Before this hellish trip had become a necessity she had been a Queen's Lady and Thayet had not allowed for weaknesses. As a pupil at the convent too she had learned that to show weakness was to give the others material for mockery.

It was with this in mind that she straightened and in a somewhat futile attempt to hide the tremors wracking her body clasped her hands onto the railing behind her, leaning on it subtly for support when her traitorous legs threatened to give out on her.

Alice wasn't blind; no matter what methods Evelyn employed she'd known her from birth, known when she was scared and in pain. But Goddess Bless now it was as if pride and a sense of duty was all that was driving the young women. She had become a shell of her former self, retreating further within every day. Her lifeless eyes were what scared Alice the most and now she stared into them desperately looking for the fire that had previously occupied them, fighting down the growing sense of panic when she could find only blank resignation.

Evelyn momentarily forgot about her own discomfort when she noticed the fear in the older woman's eyes. Mithros, she had been so wrapped up in herself what if something had happened to Alice? Her eyes quickly appraised the woman taking in all her familiar features; her average height, chocolate brown hair liberally streaked with silvery grey strands and pulled fiercely back into a bun, all looked normal but her wide smiling mouth was drawn in a tight line and her eyes, her almost black eyes looked afraid.

"Alice what's the matter, has one of the sailors harmed you or said anything to make you uncomfortable?" As she asked the question her eyes scanned the ship and took in many of the mens faces as they watched the now familiar morning routine. They had seemed a decent bunch to her, harden sailors who had been amused to find that she had no sea legs, but her nobility protected her, what if one of them had preyed on Alice, a commoner?

While she tried to keep her voice calm and even it cracked a little at the end betraying her anxiety and fragile mental state, it was bad enough that she was a coward and had chosen to run away but what if her selfish actions had resulted in pain for her long serving maid?

Alice was bought back down to earth with a bump, Evelyn needed reassurance, and she needed some answers.

"Of course not! Mithros you always did have a rather wild imagination, probably because you weren't beaten enough as a child." Evelyn's posture relaxed slightly, "You know fine well I wasn't spoilt, as far as I can remember it was you did the beating." The two women smiled at each other and their memories before Evelyn tried again, "What's wrong then?"

Alice considered her charge for a long moment, she knew what she wanted to ask, all the same she knew all she'd get would be denials and reassurances. Still, it was worth a try; "Do you want to explain to me why you feel like there's no hope left for you? I know your physical weakness is due to the seasickness, but I've never seen you despair before."

It was as though a thousand shutters slammed down on the nobles face; she turned away from the older woman and grazed out at the blurry mass in the distance that was Carthak. Her thoughts were in turmoil, that wasn't a question she was prepared to answer.

Alice's hands found their way to her hips, dam it all to the Black Gods realm she was not getting away with turning her back! "Evelyn I demand an answer of Goddess help me I'll send for the Own to bring you home.

Evelyn spun back from the rail her eyes suddenly blazing with an unknown emotion: "If you send for the Own then you are signing my death warrant. If I go back there'll be no escaping him. Whether it be at his hands or my own death would find me."

Alice stepped back uncertainly, at times she forgot who her charge was and what she was running from, but here in front of her stood the Royal Duchess Evelyn of Naxen, considered by many to be the Third Princess of Tortall, and she fled from the man who would make her his bride, a man fifty years her senior who would in his own words 'rut with her' until she gave him an heir.

It was with a deep sigh that she gave up on getting any answers, "No you're right, there's no going back now.."

After the sun had set, sinking slowly and majestically beneath the emerging land of Carthak Evelyn found herself alone in the cabin she had been allocated. She was sprawled on her back fingers tracing patterns on her pillow while silent sobs shuddered through her body. As the tears seeped from under closed eyes they were wiped angrily away. This had been her decision she had to remain strong there was no going home now, not until she'd completed her task anyway.

She could still remember with an awful visual clarity the day Stone Mountain had caught her unawares in a deserted corridor; she had been on her way to the Own's barracks to visit Dom when his hand had caught her arm in a powerful grip. He had leered at her and groped her, trapping her body between his and the wall and thrusting hard against her, it had been the first time she had felt terror. No one had responded to her screams for help and Stone Mountain had only laughed cruelly at her fear. The next day he petitioned her father for her hand in marriage.

To add credibility to her escape plan she had asked Numair to test her gift, being pleasantly surprised when he expressed his opinion that with the right amount of training she could become a Black Robe in the healing arts. Amongst her despair it was a ray of hope, as well as escape she would be offered the chance to prove herself as something other than the King's niece.

Keeping her eyes shut against the world she dived through her memories to the night she had left the palace, it seemed several lifetimes ago but in fact less than a week had passed. It had been a cool clear night, the crickets had been chirping and the scent form the rose gardens had been almost overwhelming. There was a ball in progress, courtiers everywhere laughing and dancing everyone happy no one noticing the family that was being torn apart.

Her mother, her beautiful mother so calm and collected when faced with the vicious ladies of the court had broken down, begging and pleading with her only daughter, her baby not to leave. Her father, the man who'd taken her to important meetings, who'd let her grow up free and unrestrained had understood. He'd tugged her into a crushing bear hug, his eyes over bright, losing his little girl, he'd thought he'd had her safe, he'd been wrong. He only asked that the gods bought his daughter back to him safe and sound.

Her uncles, Raoul, and Jonathan she hadn't found the courage to tell face to face. When she was brutally honest with herself she knew it was because they could have easily picked holes in her story. It would have been far too easy to let them persuade her to stay, let them shelter her against the storm of Conservatives that would have descended. So instead she'd left them letters, she knew that was wrong, that they deserved better than that, and that she was being a coward but she simply couldn't have stood any more tears or despairing looks.

It was a while before she let herself come back to the present, a world where her family existed on a distant land. Rising slightly unsteadily from the bed she made her way towards the mirror that adorned the wall. A stranger stared straight back at her through emerald green eyes that were over bright and red, heavy dark bags seeming to have taken up permanent position under them. She attempted a smile in wry humour; she certainly wasn't the prettiest girl at court anymore.

Pursing her rose bud lips at the reflection she promised herself that one day, when everything had settled down and she'd passed her exams she would go back, back home.

A knock on the door ruined her somewhat solemn moment, a gruff sailor's voice calling to her, "My Lady dinner's ready," There was a pause before he added with something akin to amusement, "If you actually feel like keeping something down tonight, cooks getting all flustered, things you don't appreciate his cooking."

She laughed then, the sailor on the other side of the door jumped before a slow smile spread across his own face, he'd not heard the little Duchess make a sound like that before, it was rich and like clear bells were tinkling. Then the door opened and she slipped out, "You can tell cook that I adore his cooking, it's the sea I have the problem with!"

As Evelyn made the walk to the gallery she snapped out of her self-pitying mood. She was going to be a Black Robe and give all those back home a reason to be proud of her.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days previously in Tortall…

The day started much the same as any other, as always the sun rose in the east casting its first tentative rays across the land. In the palace of Tortall one man lay awake in his bed. He was old, winkles carved out deep grooves across his face while his hands were no longer strong enough to grasp his sword.

Slowly and with several joints protesting the movement he eased himself out of the bed, revealing himself to be fully dressed. He shuffled his way across the room to his desk where two letters in cream envelopes lay innocently. He picked them up and spent a moment gazing at the addresses written in elegant black ink. With a sigh he opened his door and summoned a Page. He waited patiently for one to arrive, knarled fingers absently tracing the writing before handing those two envelopes over.

As the red and gold clad figure disappeared down the hall the Lord Magistrate leaned into his doorway. While he had never approved of Evelyn of Naxen when she had come to him last night begging him to see the letters delivered she'd touched something inside him. He found himself glad she was fleeing her marriage; a creature like her should never be caged.

Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak groaned and pulled the covers more firmly around him ignoring Buri's murmur of protest. He could have sworn he'd heard someone scratching at the door. However a quick glance confirmed his early suspicions, it was only just dawn. Not even Kel would be up wielding that deadly glaive of hers yet. He was just about to close his eyes again when Buri's sleep filled voice caught his attention; "What's that?"

It was then that he noticed the thick cream envelope, with its crinkled corners and slight rip along the edge; it definitely looked as if it had been forced under the door. "Mmm probably just a prank from one of the squads, I'll get it when the sun comes up properly."

Buri gave him a wicked poke in the ribs, "Raoul get your over grown hulk of a body out of bed and go get it!"

With a barely concealed yawn he dragged his protesting body out of bed and picked up the offending piece of stationary, his name was there, written in a style that he felt sure he should recognise. After turning it over in large hands he finally gave into his curiosity and opened it carefully with a wry humour, you never knew what the boys from one of his squads would think was funny; Buri leaned over his shoulder curiosity rampart.

Five minutes later the knight commander of the Kings Own and the Commander of the Queen's Riders still hadn't moved from the edge of the bed. Raoul had lost all signs of sleepiness and was re-reading the letter for the second time with an air of alertness while Buri remained frozen at his shoulder. In a lesser man it could have been said that his hands trembled slightly as the parchment fluttered in his grasp.

"Uncle Raoul

I'm writing this letter to say goodbye, by the time you receive this I will be aboard a ship bound for Carthak. I apologise for not coming to see you personally, I did try. I actually made it as far as Third Company's barracks before my courage deserted me. Seeing all the men so relaxed and happy I got a rush of homesickness (silly I know considering I hadn't even left the palace).

The real reason behind my appalling lack of courtesy is perhaps that I was scared of your response to the reason for my somewhat abrupt departure. As you are well aware a large number of men have approached Papa asking for my hand in marriage, all of them are conservatives determined to bring the Prime ministers daughter to heel. Between you, Papa and Uncle Jon I have remained free but last week a man petitioned for me whom you can't afford to offend, he's too powerful and many of the Conservatives view him as their spokesperson.

As such I decided to take matters into my own hands. It's not all depressing news though; Numair actually believes that I could achieve my Black Robe in healing! Imagine me a Black Robe! I'm warning Third Company now (and a certain squad in particular) that with that kind of power they'll never manage to get one over on me again. Please forgive me for not coming to see you personally.

Your loving goddaughter

Evelyn

Only years of disciple kept Raoul from allowing the tears that were rapidly building up in his eyes to fall. Then anger hit him; dam every conservative to the dark Gods realm for making his goddaughter feel as though she had no option left but to leave her home.

King Jonathon of Tortall was not in the best of form. He had a headache spreading rapidly and no amount of rubbing his temple would make it go away. Mithros the second bell of the day hadn't even rung yet already he was feeling completely under-powered. The reports were stacked in-front of him and to his tired eyes seemed to reach the ceiling. Normally he and Gary would have gone through a substantial amount of them already but his Prime Minister was absent for some unknown reason.

It was then that the Page knocked and entered, he waved a hand at him to wait and added his signature to another document. Then asking the Goddess for patience looked up, raising an eyebrow at the young lad that was standing quivering in front of him. That in itself added more stress to his shoulders, when had he gotten so scary that he caused children to tremble? Brushing that aside for the moment he focused on the task at hand.

"Do you have a message for me?" The scarlet and gold figure nodded before extending a pristine cream envelope, Jon took it with a mumble of thanks and paid the page for his services, he was to put it mildly, completely exasperated, which conservative was writing with a complaint now? What he saw when he read the letter caused him to groan and place his head in his hands.

"Uncle Jon

I know you always taught me as a small child that courage is one of the best virtues to have, that I should face every situation with bravery but sometimes even the best of rules must have exceptions…

I can't be the girl that you need me to be. All my life I've done as I was asked, I went to the convent and acted as a template for all the other girls there, I flirted with foreign princes and acted as the realms third princess.

I didn't care about any of this, some parts I even enjoyed it knowing in the back of my head that I was free. I may act like a princess but in reality I'm only a duchess albeit a royal one. What I'm trying to say is that I'd counted on a marriage for love, in my naivety I'd hoped I wasn't important enough to attracted the powerful men of the realms attention.

I'm aware that this letter portrays me as a spoilt whinging child but I have to do this. I can't ask you, Papa and Uncle Raoul to keep offending conservatives for me; you need them onside for when you have to fight important battles, like getting Squire Keladry's law changed.

It seems like my only option is to run, and I'm no knight with a noble heart and cloak of courage so run is exactly what I've done. I have decided to go to Carthak and continue my mage studies; perhaps achieve my Black Robe, I will prove to the court that I'm more than just another face.

I can also act as an ambassador there; tell Kally I'll write regularly as soon as I meet Kadder.

Your loving niece

Evelyn

Jon let out a moan of frustration, he wished with all his might that it had only been another letter from a conservative, but no, the girl he fully considered as a daughter had fled. He rapidly cast his mind back, when had she grown up and assumed the responsibilities of her station? Responsibilities that he and Gary had long been trying to shelter her from.

It really did only seem like yesterday that she had been a small child dressed in her older brothers breeches desperately trying to keep up when they went walking or begging the Shang Wildcat to teach her how to throw a punch. Not anymore though she'd grown up and discovered exactly what it meant to be royal.

Well if she had to leave her home the best he could do was ensure she was treated like the lady she was, he stretched out a hand and lifted a blank sheet of parchment, 'Emperor Kadder..'

Then he flung down his quill and headed for the Naxen wing, the reports could go and rot for the day, Gary needed his support now.

Kel stopped dead on the practice courts; surely she'd heard it wrong? With an irritated huff, (she hated stopping training without a real reason) she walked over to the Page, "What was that you were saying about the Lady Evelyn?"

The boy in question looked the Lady Squire up and down, "She's gone, ran away in the night I delivered the letter to the King this morning."

Kel felt as though someone had pummelled her with a lance, "What do you mean gone? Why would she go anywhere I was with her last night she was fine." The Page shrugged his shoulders, "I ain't know I just delivered the message, ask him." As Kel spun and followed his pointed finger she saw her knight master striding across the courts a look of barely suppressed rage on his face.

"Sir…?" Raoul glanced down at his shocked Squire; he guessed she'd heard the gossip. "It's all true, at this stage she'll be aboard a ship bound for Carthak with only one bloody maid to care for her. Dam that pompous son of a Stormwing for doing this to her!"

"For doing what to her Sir?" This was Dom; his squad had been running drills and had been alarmed to see the rage practically simmering over the Knight Commander.

"For forcing her to flee! Would you marry someone fifty years older then you to have them lock you away in a mountain fortress so you could breed?!"

It was Wolset that broke the stunned silence; his Sergeant seemed to be having difficulty swallowing. "Who was it that she was expected to marry – Sir?"

The use of his seldom used title brought Raoul back to reality, "The son of a Stormwing Stone Mountain".

"Why didn't she say something, we could have protected her!" In his head Dom was remembering the night Evelyn had come to give him the details about the summer ball. She had emerged from the palace at a run a wild look in her eyes, her gown creased and there had been bruises on her arms. Most shocking of all was perhaps the fact that she had run straight into his arms and begged him to keep a mysterious 'him' away from her. At the time he had rubbed her back and muttering soothing platitudes, promising to keep her safe from whomever it was that had terrified her. Only now was it beginning to make sense and he could feel the rage bubbling through his veins, she had been covered in vivid bruises for Mithros sake!

Raoul suddenly looked at his young Sergeant, he was in the standard practice gear cream shirt, brown breeches and comfortable leather boots, but he looked very young and for a moment Raoul could have sworn he'd seen a flash of pain in his sapphire eyes it was only visible for a second before it vanished and he wondered had it ever really been there? After all his Sergeants dislike of Evelyn was legendary throughout the palace.

"Beneath her tough exterior she was a court girl, a Royal Duchess from the cradle she's been taught to disguise her feelings and emotions, to trust no one…"

Raoul trailed off before his eyes hardened and became flint like, "Right drills to run, I'm mixing up the training we've been lazy recently…."

As Dom called orders to his squad he tried to harden towards his ex-verbal sparing partner, it was obvious she'd hurt so many by running away, surely if she'd just told him what was happening he could have helped? He couldn't believe she'd told her doting godfather via a letter, it was rather impersonal. He didn't care to examine why he'd felt a pang that she'd gone, and why in his mind's eye he kept seeing the livid bruising on her arm, why he didn't even like the chit…


	3. Chapter 3

Six months later in the Court of Carthak

Right my dears, here goes **A LOVE UNKOWN **mark two. I've posted this up here before but got very little response, I know people were reading it; I had over 2,500 hits but hardly any reviews.

So please spare just a minute of your time and leave a review, it only takes a couple of minutes to read a story but can take an author hours to write.

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**Six months later in the Court of Carthak**

The multitude of dancers swirled amongst each other, tinkling laughter bouncing off the magnificent doomed ceiling. The quite chirp of crickets and occasional bird song added to the exotic feel. The sun was sinking slowly behind the city's skyline, casting long dusky pink fingers through the open archways, just reaching the impressive table at which the dignitaries were seated.

Emperor Kadder let out a small sigh as he sat bolt upright on the solid gold throne like chair. He cut an impressive figure, his jet hair cut just below the ear-lobes, fingers adorned with many rings each set with a different precious stone and glinting under the suns dying rays and the soft glow of the mage lights. Although the proud Emperor would never admit it the weight of his solid gold and rubied crown was beginning to cause his head to throb painfully, each trembling note of the harp sending a fresh jolt of discomfort along his temple.

He would have done anything to retire quietly to his chambers and take a long soothing bath to relieve the tension and then fall into his silk covered bed. It wasn't that he didn't endorse balls, simply that this was the fifth night of such entertainment and while it was in celebration of an important event he was tired.

Evelyn too was seated at the High Table just to the left of the Emperor. She had just politely dismissed the crow of men that had gathered around her when she noticed that the Emperor had rubbed his temple for what seemed like the millionth time. After all her training it was second nature to her to reach out a hand that glowed with a pale green fire and place it on top of his. It barely took thirty seconds to heal before she was again left to her private musings.

Kadder gave a start of disbelief when he felt his migraine fade away to nothing; he glanced to the side expecting to see Zamid, and instead was confronted with the Tortallan maid. Contemplatively he reached for his wine goblet as he studied the Duchess that had arrived unannounced some six months previously…

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**Flashback**

He had been reviewing the re-construction of the docks when a relatively non-descript Tortallan ship made berth. No one had even spared it a second glance; if he had perhaps he would have noticed the Royal standard beneath the Tortallan flag and possibly been more prepared.

As it was it was the shouting that alerted him first, guards streaming towards the vessel as local Dockers waved and yelled, women flowing from surrounding houses in droves all craning to get a look. Curiosity had gotten the better of him and he'd headed in that direction, halfway there when a panting imperial guard met him, "Your Majesty, a royal, there's a royal Tortallan aboard that ship!"

To say he was flabbergasted would be putting it mildly, his betrothed wasn't due for another six months, who on earth would have travelled on a merchant ship without announcing themselves? His musings and quick strides had bought him to the ships very gang plank and there poised at the top looking as if part of her wanted to turn back was the Royal Duchess Evelyn of Naxen.

He had heard tales of her exquisite beauty from his homecoming ambassador but now he wondered if they hadn't been exaggerated, this girl looked wane and ill. She was presented perfectly, wearing a Carthaki satin gown that gave the illusion of being a 2 – piece. The V-neck halter was in a pearl colour which was set off by the beautiful sea green two-toned sash, the simple flowing skirt the same sea green as the sash.

As she disembarked he waited for her entourage to follow, only it never did, a single maid was her only company, a Duchess who should have by rights demanded an entourage of people second only to the Princesses Kalasin and Lianne.

Within a week of her shock arrival and several solid meals later he saw that rumours of beauty had not been exaggerated. Blonde hair flowed like liquid silk, eyes glimmered the colour of spring grass after a fresh rainfall, and her cream skin seemed to catch the light and reflect it back. She drew the eyes of everyone she met few found it easy to look away.

During that week he managed to obtain answers to his many questions, a Tortallan courier ship had docked just days after she arrived carrying letters from Tortall's most powerful men, King Jonathan, Prime Minister Gareth of Naxen, and Lord Knight Commander Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak. They explained that Lady Evelyn was in Carthak to further her mage training and to act as ambassador for Tortall. They also asked that he shelter her and let her stay until the arrival of the Princess Kalasin.

His sister was delegated to talk to her and promptly deemed her courteous and quiet. She had also mentioned that while Lady Evelyn smiled it seemed forced, as if somewhere something was hurting her. Kadder had yet to find out what that something was…

Zamid had examined her gift and come teetering out of the room an awed expression on his features. It had taken Kadder a while to get past his cousins exclamations about her beauty but once they did it was onto serious business, "She's powerful all right, with the right training could be a black robe in healing, isn't a bad conjurer either…."

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Shaken out of his memories and back in the present one more he could see Zamid approaching Evelyn again, while the majority of the Carthaki court had treated her with the aloof respect deemed suitable for foreign royals Zamid conversely seemed to live to flirt with the northern maiden. She firmly gave him the cold shoulder at every opportunity; by the looks of things he was yet again fighting a losing battle…

"Good evening fair Lady, my I comment on just how stunning you are looking this night", Zamid finished his players' speech with a flourish causing a small smile to grace Evelyn's lips.

"It would appear that you are determined to compliment me whether I mind or not." Kadder listening in on the conversation gave a small start, it was the first time that he had seen Evelyn give anything other then a polite but direct refusal, perhaps Zamid was winning her over, he was glad as personally he was dying to question Evelyn about her cousin. Currently all she would give him was facts, he wanted to know everything, all her childhood habits, her quirks, what made her smile, scowl…

"How could I not, your eyes light up the room and your laugh sounds like a thousand twinkling bells." Evelyn surrounded by contriving courtiers, all trying to gain steps in the hierarchy, was suddenly hit by a wave of homesickness, Dom used to flirt with court ladies in just the same manner Zamid was using on her now. All he had wanted was company for the night and a chance to boast to his squad, she wouldn't have given him the chance so wouldn't for Zamid either.

"All your comments are directed at outer beauty, do you care nothing for the person inside and the feelings they might have?" With a quick nod to the Emperor she gathered her dust pink skirts about her and swept from the room, ignoring the men that tried to get her to stop and dance. As she walked she tried to convince herself that nothing was wrong, that her trembling could be attributed to the cold air not her feelings.

Zamid was left with a shocked expression on his handsome face, causing Kadder to almost laughed out loud, gods that girl was a firecracker, Zamid didn't have a chance. The healer suddenly groaned. "What could possibly be the matter now, I've told you a million times she's not interested…" He was quelled by his cousins glare, "Why didn't I see it before, it all makes sense now."

Kadder was prevented from asking what it was that made sense by a simpering girl arriving at the main table and flirting with the now unoccupied healer, gods how the girls of Carthak hated that Tortallen upstart, what was it she had that they didn't?

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Evelyn calmed down after she left the busy ballroom, the cool quiet of the deserted corridors claming her overwrought feelings. As she walked a feeling akin to remorse hit her, Zamid was the only one who didn't treat her like an interest specimen to be examine and then caught and she'd been positively rude to him.

Dam Domitan of Masbolle to a Stormwings Eerie! It was his entire fault, every time she noticed one of his mannerisms, for example Zamids' flirting she became overwhelmingly homesick and snappy.

It wasn't that she missed the sergeant, quite the opposite in fact; they were always at each others throats, in his eyes she was nothing but a prissy court lady, a clone and she viewed him with contempt, he was such a womaniser, breaking as many hearts as possible. It was just that he was part of home, he reminded her of the King's Own, and that led her to think of her Uncle Raoul and Squire Kel with whom she had been friendly.

It wasn't until she bumped into a door that she realised her wandering feet and led her to her chambers. These were a major cause of discomfort for her. She'd expected to be treated like any other university student once the initial greetings and been completed but instead she'd been given an exclusive set of rooms amongst the royal wing of the palace and placed on display every night at the balls. It seemed as though every man in Carthak wanted his chance to persuade the Tortallan to marry him.

Back on the ship she'd made a promise to herself never to fall into the hole of self pity, but it was hard. Evelyn wasn't a stupid girl, no matter what anyone said about the Convent it was at the forefront of education. She knew the other girls despised her, she was foreign and because of this an object for the Carthaki men to desire. The fact that she had a royal title was yet another cause for jealousy. While she delighted in the knowledge she was gaining from the university there were times when homesickness hit her so hard she felt physically ill.

Except for her pride she would have been on the next ship home. Home however was becoming more and more like a memory, it seemed they'd all forgotten her, the Tortallen court girls delighted in her absence and shed heard precious little from her companions, all Kalasin wanted to talk about was Kadder.

The practical side of here knew this was mostly due to the Progress and the excitement of meeting the new princess form the Yamani Isles but she couldn't help but long for a nice long gossipy letter. She leaned back against the wall gathering her thoughts, if she entered the room in her present state of mind Alice would demand to know what was wrong and there was no need to worry her maid.

She took one final calming breath, after all Kalasin would soon be here and then she had no doubt she would hear all the latest news and gossip. It bore the added bonus that the spotlight of attention would be pulled off her, it was said she and Kalasin were Tortall's Merilwens, (roses)but she had always known that Kalasin was the prettier of the two. Plastering a smile on her face she pushed open the door, ready to tell Alice all about the ball that had been thrown in her honour…

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	4. Chapter 4

**Back in Tortall...**

"Princess Kalasin"

"To the Black Gods Realm with that, its Queen Thayet!"

"Horseshit, Lady Evelyn!"

"What on earth are you three arguing about now?" Dom threw and amused and somewhat exasperated look over his shoulder at his two corporals and the standard bearer who had consented to ride with them for the day. It seemed all they had done was argue but now it looked as if full scale war was about to break out.

"I was just politely expressing my opinion…"

"Politely! Wolset you told Lerent you'd trail him behind your horse in the dirt if he didn't admit that Lady Evelyn was the realms prettiest Lady!"

Dom snorted "Lady Evelyn, are we referring to the same Evelyn?"

Wolset gave his sergeant the filthiest look he could muster before remembering an early midwinter's morning and changing it to one of glee. "Now Sergeant don't play the meathead with us boys, we all know your feelings for Evelyn."

Iit was Lerent's turn to throw an incredulous look, "Fulcher I do believe Wolset has been hit over the head one too many times, he seems to have forgotten the constant warfare that existed between Dom and Evelyn."

Fulcher grinned and opened his mouth to retort when his fellow corporals' next statement almost caused him to fall off his horse in shock.

"That just shows how much of an innocent you are darling Lerent, what you describe as 'warfare' us _men_ know as sexual tension."

"Wolset! You've been at the poppy wine again! Not even Meathead has ever been Meathedish enough to suggest that, I hold Lady Evelyn in the state of deepest loathing, and she views me in exactly the same way."

"So explain the night of passion you spent with her then!"

"What night of passion!"

"The one that saw you running with her out of the barracks before dawn, she tripped over boots causing me to wake up and you were holding her hand pulling her out the door!"

Dom laughed out loud, a rich baritone noise. Princess Lianne, riding in the middle of the squad snapped out of her own musings and pricked up her ears.

"What's so funny? I personally am hurt to think that our esteemed sergeant didn't feel he could tell us he was courting Evelyn, letting us all believe it was Kel he loved!"

"There was no night of passion, Evelyn came to ask a favour of me early one morning and I felt it best that I removed her from the barracks before you lot of ugly toads woke up and revelled that you slept naked"

Lianne widened her eyes, she'd heard about this, but the sergeant was leaving out one very important detail. "Sergeant Domitan…"

Dom instantly stopped his bantering and gave the princess his full attention; he was, she mused very attractive in his uniform, blue tunic matching his eyes to perfection while his broad shoulders filled it out nicely. "I couldn't help but notice that you left out a very important detail, one which Evelyn filled Kally in on the second she escaped your presence that morning and I just happened to overhear."

It was Fulcher that caught on first, "Mithros Dom you sleep as naked as the rest of us!" Now it was Lianne's turn to laugh while Dom stuttered and actually blushed.

"If it's any consolation Sergeant Evelyn appreciated what she saw, she had quite the rant about you to Kally. Something about it not being fair, that you were so delightful looking while asleep but the second you woke up you show your true despicable colours."

Dom was saved from having to formulate a reply by Raouls' timely arrival. The Knight Commander rode back down the line of men grinning and waving a piece of parchment haphazardly about.

"Evelyn, you'll never guess what she's done!"

Dom swallowed a groan; it seemed she was to be the topic of the day. He didn't want to examine the feelings he got when he thought about her seeing him naked and approving but rather on those he got when he thought about the treatment the Own had endured when she'd left.

Raoul had been consumed by a rage when he'd learnt that Evelyn had felt the need to flee but she'd bound him to a promise that he would not challenge any conservative to a dual over her honour, this resulted in him taking out his rage on others, the Own in particular.

The training he'd put them through had been the most brutal any of the men had ever experienced, the King had even expressed his concern that Raoul was pushing them too hard, Raoul had ignored him and continued with the training.

There had been the early morning six mile runs around the palace walls, continuous sword drills with live blades, a mental battle as well as a physical one and compulsory jousting. Dom himself had flown like one of Kel's little sparrows when Raoul had given him a go and Lerent had broken his arm.

His personal hell had been the circuits, twelve cardiac exercises lasting thirty seconds each with sprints in between which were repeated until the men could no longer stand without aid. It was a vicious circuit, you needed to eat in order to have the strength to get through the day but your breakfast inevitability came up mid-morning.

Now it was over he revelled in the knowledge that the Own were indeed the elite of Tortall's warriors but at the time it had been a living hell and he'd cursed Evelyn every day for inflecting that upon them and the pain upon her uncle.

Kel, ever loyal had, on the occasions that he'd mentioned it had reminded him that Evelyn was in Carthak for mysterious reasons and had no part in her Uncle's actions. To Dom this didn't matter, he _liked_ blaming Evelyn. It was what he did. Their relationship had started three years before when, after accepting a bet to kiss her she'd slapped his face. Since then it had been war between them, each blaming the other. It was like a sport between then, the palace servants even ran a betting pool against them.

He was snapped back into the present by the sound of Raouls voice, "She's passed her ordeal, didn't even tell her parents she was due to take it, but is now a red robed healer, the equivalent of our master. Apparently Emperor Kadder has thrown a week of parties in honour of her. She's the youngest healer of that standard in 10 years".

Dom couldn't help but join in the men's smiles; Raoul was practically bursting with pride in his niece.

Later, as Dom lay sprawled in his bedroll, dressed comfortably in brown breeches and a fawn shirt, he heard the sleepy voice of Lerant,

"You're bloody lucky, Dom."

He laughed and rolled over so he could see the irritable standard bearer, "And why exactly is that?"

Lerant gave a dramatic sigh, "Well everyone knows that you and Kel have something going on, and now it turns out that the most beautiful girl at court thinks you're handsome, I'd give anything to be in your place, just imagine, Lady Evelyn turning those big green eyes on me…"

Dom snorted with laughter "I'd be flattered Lerant. I really would be, but Evelyn is not the prettiest girl at court, and Kel and I are just good friends. She's concentrating on achieving her knighthood."

Fulcher had been dozing, but he felt he had to give input to this particular conversation. He had liked Evelyn when he'd met her, she wasn't a Knight or Rider yet she appeared to be made of a different mould then the other court ladies, even though he was a commoner she had treated him like a king.

"Dom, don't let your personal feelings for the Lady of Naxen cloud your judgement. It's common knowledge that she is a stunner, a rival in beauty to the princess royal".

Several other voices murmured in agreement.

"Lads, it appears you are all in love with the bane of my life. I'll be sure to give her your regards should I ever see her again".

There was a silence that was broken by the distant crunching of a leaf. The next second, ten raucous war cries were heard as the men launched themselves violently upon their sergeant. The said sergeant let out a scream. As Wolset would later cheerfully remark: 'More girly then his cousins'. Needless to say all thoughts of Evelyn were pushed from the men's minds, as they wrestled on the ground.


	5. Chapter 5

Evelyn sat up in bed with a start, she had been dreaming she could hear a women's screams, a women that was screaming for her

Heya, do people not like this at all? Please review, even if you don't and tell me what's wrong with it…? Thanks

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Evelyn sat up in bed with a start, silken sheets twisted around her body, all her senses on the alert. She had been back in Tortall, running in the palace, running from _Him_ when she heard a woman's shrill screams.It was only after she had taken several calming breaths that, to her horror, she realised the screams were real, and in amongst the primitive, animalistic sounds she could discern her own name. As she strained to hear the undertones of the Imperial guards' deeper more gruff tones also became apparent.

"My Lady, are you alright? What does that creature want with you?" Alice appeared at the end of the bed, still in her nightgown with her dark curly hair trailing around her face, a lamp in hand. By the tone in her voice it was apparent the older women blamed her younger charge for this early morning wake up call.

"I don't know, though it sounds as if she needs help." As she processed what she had just said, Evelyn got out of bed and began to dress hurriedly in her plainest clothing. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation she may have laughed, the look of shock / horror on Alice's face was priceless. Her maid looked as if her best friend had died.

"Lady Evelyn you can't possibly go out dressed like that; you are a noble of the highest standing. You can't dress like a maid, someone might see you! Just imagine what your mother would say!"

Evelyn paused with a plain shift half way over her head. Was Alice right? What if she brought disgrace to her family, or ruined Tortall's excellent reputation? Then she heard the scream again and her mind was made up. "I have to go Alice."

"Lady, if anyone asks where you are…It could be a kidnap attempt! You are related to the royal family and with Princess Kalasin due to arrive within the month…" She trailed off at the look on the Tortallan's face. There was a determined glint within the green eyes and her mouth was set in a firm line. Evelyn's gentle hands guided her to a comfortable chair.

"Alice, I know you worry about me, gods know you've been looking out for me ever since you first entered my family's service, but you really don't need to, worry is just silly."

Evelyn watched her maid and as Alice opened her mouth to protest again cut her off with a cool finger against her lips. "I am almost a black robe mage. I can deal with a distraught woman. Should anyone ask where I've gone, tell them I'm a high-handed mistress who informs you of nothing." The maid gave a snort at the outlandish comment.

"Emperor Kadder will see right through that," Evelyn threw an almost twinkling glance back over her shoulder as she opened the door, "Pray that he doesn't ask you then."

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Several hours later all smiles had been wiped off the nobles face, for the first time in her life she was thankful she'd had no breakfast, else wise it would be all over the floor. She had caught up with the women just as the guards had thrown her out the small west gate of the palace. She was dressed in what could only be described as rags. Her skirt was stained with what looked suspiciously like blood and the once white blouse was now a pale brown colour encrusted with year's worth of dirt. All her clothes looked like they had been made to fit a much larger woman.

Evelyn set her face in what she thought was her most noble expression, and hoped she was the only one that could hear the hugely magnified beating of her heart.

"What is going on here? I heard a women calling for me."

The woman, Kari had looked up in shock as a slim youth strode towards them and implied that she was the Lady of Naxen. While it was instantly apparent that she was who she claimed to be by the guard's respectful stance, Kari had been expecting someone nobler, not a girl dressed in a maids clothing. It was almost as though the Lady Evelyn could read her mind as she turned her gaze upon her, Kari averted her eyes, this 'mere' girl seemed to see straight to her soul…

Evelyn stole a glance at the women who appeared to be in a state of shock, she grimaced internally, perhaps she should have dressed up more, but she'd thought it would make her less intimidating to the girl. Apparently she'd been wrong.

Switching back to listen to the guards Evelyn could feel fury begin to fill her veins. This woman had a young son who was dying of a fever. None of the city healers could do anything and because of her class, (she was a newly freed slave) none of the palace mages would give her the time of day. Having nothing left to lose she'd come to try and see the Tortallan, hoping she was more open to class restrictions, after all there were rumours that the King of the North had once mingled with the commoners and even been friends with the King of Thieves himself.

Evelyn took several breaths and tried to calm herself down. After all these men were only trying to do their jobs. "Thank you, but I'll see this lady out." In saying this Evelyn placed her hand on the woman's arm and began to lead her out the door. As soon as she was out of ear shot she whispered in the woman's ear, "Which way to your home?" The look the woman sent her filled her with a sense of warmth not even the hottest fire could provide.

She'd no bother in healing the little boy that was not what had turned her stomach, it was the squalor that the people lived in, no latrines and four families crammed into one tiny shack. The younger children screamed for food, food that their parents didn't have while those old enough to understand stared with huge hungry eyes.

It wasn't as if these people were particularly desolate, all around them others were living in similar and worse conditions, children standing in their own waste, flies swarming around their eyes. Helpless parents had clung to her as a beacon of hope, a new brand of noble. She had spent most of her day among the slums healing were she could. It was around lunch time when an irritable, grumpy and generally worried maid had joined her. Since then she hadn't left her mistresses side, to her every one of these people seemed to want something off the young Tortallen and to Alice's' mind that simply wasn't right.

When her Evelyn hadn't returned after an hour Alice had panicked and getting directions from the pair of guards found Evelyn up to her ears in grime healing in the worst slums of the city. No amount of arguing could convince the noble to return to the palace. So here they were; it was getting dark the sun having just set in an amazing display of scarlet and inky blue and Alice was pretty certain that Evelyn was almost drained. Her face was pale while her eyes had dark smudges under them. Hands clasped in front of her were white knuckled. Alice despairingly would later remark that it would have to be just then that they came across the girl child on the street corner…

Evelyn herself was immersed in thought; did Kadder know how his people were living? Did he care? Because of this she didn't hear the weeping of the baby until she almost stepped on her. When she did see the girl she stopped dead in her tracks, she could count every rib, the hip bones protruding like towers; the child's parents had abandoned her on a street corner and left her to die.

Reaching deep down into herself the young mage called on her gift, only to find a glimmer. It wasn't enough to save the baby. All she could do in the end was ease the child's suffering and offer up a prayer to the dark God. Alice observed from the side, she watched the remaining colour drain from Evelyn's face and saw the child breath its last. It was her who was there to hold Evelyn when the tears came, and come they did, the sobs racked her body.

As clichéd as it sounded something changed in her that day; Evelyn of Naxen somewhat spoilt Duchess of Tortall had her eyes opened in a brutal manner and somewhere among the slums and ruffians of Carthak's lower classes, in amongst the endless thank yous and the wide eyed looks, a steely core of determination formed within her. She would help those who couldn't help themselves, whether it be in Carthak or Tortall.

Two old women stood side by side and watched all that the noble maiden did. They watched as she left the slums that night, exhausted and pale. They had come to the conclusion that she wasn't a typical noble. The kind that beat anyone from the slums: unless it was a pretty girl. With any luck the new Empress would be along the same lines as her. Then the older one of the two watched as a girl came and gave the lady a hug, it drew a smile out onto her wrinkled face, "Gods all bless this Lady Evelyn."

The other woman looked over and whispered, so quietly it was almost lost on the wind; "Evelyn Estelwen. She is the bringer of hope…"

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_**A month later…**_

Kalasin stood tall and proud at the ships stern as the Tortallan flag cracked merrily in the wind above her. If she squinted she could make out the land mass ahead of her that was Carthak. The same sea breeze that made her flag fly high in the winds carried scents of a strange and exotic land to her. She was no longer scared about the prospect of being Empress, thanks mainly to the cheerful letters written by her cousin. Apparently Kadder was everything Daine had promised. Still there was an ache deep inside her, Tortall was always going to be home, and right now it was at war.

But for now she had to look forwards, not back. Their contacts in Carthak had been reporting tales of the lower classes loving the Tortallen maid, they called her the 'Bringer of Hope', and she was doing everything in her power the ease the way for her cousin's arrival, she had told stories of their youth, of Kalasins' own healing ability and the generosity of the future Empress in general.

For this Kalasin was eternally grateful, she had been fairly confident she could win over the courtiers, after all she had been taught to please them from she was a babe, but the people had scared her. She'd been afraid they would see her as cold and distant; she would never have to chance to travel the slums as Evelyn did…

'Evelyn', the thought of her pretty cousin brought a frown to her face. She loved her like a sister and had been delighted to hear that she was so happy in the Carthak court, after the offer of marriage she'd received it had seemed as though the Duchess had lost all hope for her life. While before she'd exalted over her position and how she could use it to help she'd been crushed at the prospect of being locked in a mountain fortress used only as a brooding mare for a man three times her age. While she hated the analogy of 'a butterfly' that was in many ways what she was, a 'will-oh-the-wisp' if you tried to cage her she'd wilt.

The idea that Evelyn was once again happy and shining had filled Kalasin with hope, perhaps she would stay in Carthak, at least for a year. Even when the war had started she'd naively hoped she'd be allowed to keep her cousin.

Those hopes had been shattered on the Tortallan docks. As she'd moved down the line of family her Uncle Myles had drawn her to the side, his hand on her arm was gentle but his eyes were deadly serious, never wavering from hers: "Kally I want you to order her home. She's needed in the North, we've lost too many healers, and with the killing devices we _need_ mages of her strength."

She'd almost protested, the north was a warzone and Evelyn while trained by the Lioness in the sword and Daine with a bow was no soldier. Then suddenly she'd looked beyond to the faces of others, her fathers' and Uncle Gary's were grey with exhaustion and stress and neither the aforementioned Lioness of Wildmage were present. Quivering she'd tilted her chin and sworn that Evelyn would be on the first ship bound for Tortallen shores. Her presence would save lives…

Despite the heat of the afternoon Kalasin shivered, the consequences of Evelyn's return could be far reaching; she would not find it so easy to escape the Lord of Stone Mountain's clutches for the second time. The only positive side Kalasin could see was that she was to be stationed as the Own's chief healer, Raoul wouldn't let any harm come to her, the men might not be so forgiving though, to them it seemed as if she just upped sticks and abandoned her country on a whim…

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Evelyn was seated at the left hand of the Emperor in what she deemed as 'the hottest, most uncomfortable creation known to man', and what the chief palace seamstress had called 'a respectable dress'. It appeared their opinions differed somewhat... It wasn't that Evelyn didn't like to wear dresses, she did, it was just that sitting here in the scorching midday sun waiting for Kalasin to disembark she felt that she might well melt. Kadder caught her shifting and fidgeting for the thousandth time just after noon, her facial expression was comical, lips slightly pouted eyes gazing straight ahead at the ship as though it were personally responsible for all her discomfort.

"Comfortable are you?" He tried and failed to keep the amusement out of his voice.

She was dressed in a scarlet dress with sleeves that sat off the shoulder and was covered in delicate gold beading. Around her head was a thin gold veil which floated around her face and creamy shoulders, leaving only flashing emerald eyes visible: eyes that had switched from the ship and were currently glaring in his direction.

"How could I possibly be comfortable? It must be a million degrees out here and I believe my dear cousin is delighting in taking her time and making me suffer." At Kadder's snort she continued, "Really, that ship has been in dock out there for over half an hour, she is simply enjoying the cool refreshing sea breeze while she can, knowing that I'm being roasted alive out here dying for news!"

Zaimid looked across at the arguing pair. It was said that Princess Kalasin was the most beautiful women in the world; he was not sure how she was going to surpass her cousin, though. The Royal seating stand was slightly sheltered under the canopy of some large leafy palm trees, offering people some protection from the suns glaring rays. The sand was pale gold in colour and, with the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore nearby, it was an idyllic place, to introduce Kalasin to her new country. In the midst of all this was the slender figure of the Lady Naxen modelling a stunning scarlet and gold dress. Oh yes, Zaimid reflected. Kalasin would have to be something truly special…

Just then, with an agonising groan of wood the gangplank on the ship dropped and, under the comforting shade of an umbrella, surrounded by various dignitaries, out stepped the singularly most exquisite women Zaimid or Kadder had ever seen.

She was dressed in a royal blue dress, trimmed in silver, and about her head was a silver veil; it could not hide the raven black hair or sapphire eyes though, that glittered as Kalasin surveyed the party before her. The princess of Tortall instantly commanded everyone's attention.

Evelyn took one look at her cousin and gave an exclamation of joy; she completely forgot her role of official introducer and previous annoyance, running across the hot sand to embrace the other girl. They met in a clash of silver and gold and the tinkle of laughter. Those who were present on the beach that day would later claim that no two girls of greater beauty existed and that, for one brief day, Carthak had been home to both.

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It would appear, Eve, that you've managed to build quite a reputation for yourself." Evelyn raised her eyebrows as she watched Kally drop lazily into a chair beside the open window. She and Evelyn had retreated to the latter's rooms after the welcoming ball to catch up on old gossip and for Kalasin to deliver her news.

"Really? Other than the spoilt brat from Tortall?" This reply got a pillow thrown at her. Never one to take anything lying down Evelyn threw one straight back; the pillow fight that followed was a great way to discharge for both of them. Evelyn from the hidden pain the last month had held; dressing as a beggar and travelling the city streets had made her open her eyes to a world she hadn't known still existed. Kalasin from the suppressed worries of an arranged marriage, the war at home and the news she knew she had to deliver.

When they had finally caught their breaths, Kally resumed the conversation, "Yes really, Evelyn Estelwen".

Evelyn laughed, "I've heard that one. It's just silly. Wait until you hear the names they'll give you, I'll be forgotten about within a week." At her cousin's delicately raised eyebrows, Evelyn continued, "Which suits me perfectly; I can continue to heal, maybe open an infirmary within the slums without this constant crowd following me everywhere."

Kalasin suddenly became extremely interested in the glass she was holding. With every word her cousin had spoken her heart had become heavier, the conversation she'd planned out on the boat suddenly seemed weak and inadequate. How was she to tell the girl draped across the bed in front of her with dreams in her eyes that she'd have to give her ideals up, return home, back to the land that held the prospect of an arranged marriage?

Evelyn scrutinized the new Empress-to-be from her position perched on the bed. Something was bothering her, it couldn't be Kadder, as the two had got on famously at dinner, which meant that it was something to do with her or something she had said.

"Kally what's wrong? You can tell me." Kally sat bolt upright in shock, she should have know her ever perceptive cousin would pick up on the uneasiness that had suddenly invaded the room.

"They've been lying to you, we are not just running more expansive border patrols, Tortall is at war." Evelyn went ashen her eyes wide before a slow flush spread across her cheeks, "Why?! Why wasn't I to know?"

"You seemed so happy here, and your return would have done no good, you aren't a Lady Knight or even a soldier of the realm." Kally flinched at the mask that appeared over her cousins features, she'd argued that Evelyn needed to be told but had been over-ruled, they'd wanted the unhappy Duchess kept safe.

"So I'm not Lady Knight Keladry, but I could have done something! Now just when I've finally found a place for myself, a niche where no one judges and dismisses me in the same breath I have to leave."

Kalasin met her square in the eyes, "You're to leave on the next ship bound for Tortall, and Uncle Myles will meet you in Port Caynn before you depart for the North with First Company of the Kings Own. You are stationed at Fort Steadfast, their chief healer was killed by an arrow to the heart last week, you will replace him. Uncle Raoul will protect you from Stone Mountain."

Evelyn closed her eyes, "When does the next ship leave?" At Kalasins' almost whispered reply of "Tomorrow" the first tear seeped out. "I see, well then I suppose I'd better get packed, I'll leave Alice here with you, she has grown to like the country and war is no place for her."

As Kalasin wrapped her in a hug she couldn't stop herself trembling. She was truly terrified, not of war, she would have returned immediately had she known, but she would rather be run through by an enemies sword then marry _Him, _it would hurt, but only for a little while, marriage to him would trap her for the rest of her life.

"Shhh, it'll be ok, Sergeant Domitian and his squad would never let any harm come to you." Even as Kalasin uttered the words of comfort she prayed that they were true, last she had heard from Lianne that particular sergeant had sworn he never wanted anything to do with 'Lady Evelyn' again.

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Please review, next chapter; we're back in Tortall with all the other characters, fluff to follow on soon! (By the way Estelwen is elvish for hope, just in case anyone was wondering).

But meanwhile please, please, please review….


	6. Chapter 6

A distant horn call let the approaching party know that they had been spotted

Heya, it's me again! I know that no one was really reviewing / reading this piece but I actually really like it and am finding it hard not to write when I have the entire plot written out in my head already… I would really, really appreciated it if you could drop me a review, even if it's just to say why you don't like it…

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The long line of horses, riding three abreast wound their way slowly around the twisted road dust dancing up from the beating of hooves. As they lost altitude and began winding through the dense forest the command was given to canter, it was far too easy to set up an ambush in these parts for the company to move at a more leisurely pace.

Finally as they emerged from the trees a fort came into view, it was impressively situated atop a small hill, its walls curving along the base, partially protected by the river that ran in front. The Tortallen flag snapped in the breeze Lord Raouls standard was absent.

A distant horn call let the approaching party know that they had been spotted. Evelyn turned her head side ways as she watched a man dressed in a captions uniform answer the horn with a call of his own. It never ceased to amaze her that in those simple blasts Fort Steadfast now knew that First Company had arrived.

As the rest of the party surged forwards, invigorated by the nearness to camp Evelyn paused and drew her dappled grey mare to one side. She was dressed warmly, for although it was almost summer, up here in the north the winds still held a bitter chill. A warm forest green tunic covered a cream shirt and fawn breeches; a deep green cloak was a sharp contrast to the right blue of the Own around her. In short the dainty court lady was gone, buried under bulky layers of clothing. Her golden blonde hair was pulled back in a simple plait while formally manicured hands held countless blisters from weeks of hard riding.

She schooled her face in a calm mask hoping it betrayed none of her inner turmoil. The last three weeks had been a wake up call; to put it frankly these men didn't want her here. When she had arrived in Corus they had turned their backs on her and demanded someone with experience. Nervous fingers were rubbed subconsciously together in an anxious manner.

Her body was covered in bruises; she'd been up every night practicing half remembered sword drills in a quiet part of the camp, straining muscles that hadn't been properly used in years. At least her archery was sharp, the arrow rarely missing the centre of the target. She wasn't convinced that in a skirmish situation that would be enough to keep her or her companions alive though.

"My lady; we must keep going, there is a war on and we can't afford to have you delay us." Evelyn jumped at the sound of the gruff soldiers' voice; she had been completely lost in her own world.

"Yes, sorry, I'm coming, just wanted to get a look, first impressions…" As she trailed off she cursed the slight tremor in her voice, from the look on his face the hardy man in royal blue and silver knew she was scared, although she was prepared to bet he thought it was for different reasons. Death didn't frighten her, after all everyone dies at some point, the thought of letting her Uncle down or having the men resent her scared her far more then any enemy could…

The sergeant to her left silently apprised the women who had travelled with his company over the last couple of weeks. While he had been grudgingly impressed by her riding skills and lack of complaining, she was still no Lady Knight or Queen's Rider.

As she practiced sword work the men had been talking around the fire. None of them quite knew what to make of this noblewoman, one of the questions that was repetitive in its asking was would she survive the kracken? None could decide if, when faced with the screams of war filling her ears and dying men surrounding her she would crack. If she did it was almost certain she'd get herself killed.

He snorted, he and all the others would have the answer to their question soon enough, spies had reported that there was a large attack planned for this fort within the week.

As the reinforcements trotted in through the gates the men of the Own were shocked to see Evelyn of Naxen among them, even more so when it was announced she was to be the leading healer. They gazed in disbelief when she asked to be shown to the infirmary, this was a court lady, a royal duchess, in peace time they liked to dance with her, but this wasn't peace, they were at war and there would be no dancing for months, if not years to come. Evelyn of Naxen wasn't wanted; surely there were other healers along the border who could take the position?

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Evelyn unpacked slowly, and then took a long hard look at the infirmary; it was divided into two main rooms, each with about 25 camp beds. At the minute there was only one man present and his arm was in a sling. She trod quietly across to him and with silvery green fire dancing around her hands made short work of healing the splinted arm.

As the pain eased the soldier woke, fixing Evelyn with a pair of bright brown eyes. "I must be dreaming, I could swear there's a beautiful woman not two feet from my side."

"No, you're awake. I'm..." Before she could finish the man interrupted her, "I know who you are Lady Evelyn I was only teasing, my question is what are you doing here, it's a long way from Carthak."

As her story spilled from her lips Sergeant Aiden regarded her with compassion, as the tale had progressed with her journey northwards she had perched on the side of his bed and her slim fingers had begun picking at the sheets. It was clear she was nervous; she had the movements of a startled filly just looking for a kind hand or alternatively a way to bolt.

"You know that they won't eat you right? All you have to do is prove that you won't run that when the time comes and they have to stand to fight that you'll stand beside them." At her hesitation he placed warm fingers under her chin and forced her to meet his eyes, "Of course I'll be there, I'll heal until I have nothing left in me, I just don't know how to convince them of that." His smile when it lit his features was warm and friendly, "Well a start would be to go to the Mess rather then procrastinating here with me. My men usually sit by the door on the left, sit with them."

As she slipped out the door in the direction of aforementioned Mess hall the young sergeant was left with a lot on his mind. He truly had believed himself to be dreaming when he'd woken to see her standing there. He'd heard tales of her exquisite beauty but Dom had always rubbished them, saying she was merely 'pretty', now he knew them to be true how on earth was she to survive up here?

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Evelyn walked into the mess with the posture of a queen, in her minds eye she could still picture Sergeant Aiden with his slightly curled auburn hair, deep brown eyes and most importantly his encouraging smile. From now on she would endeavour to leave her fears in her quarters, although the silence that had fallen the second she entered the mess was deafening. She scanned the room quickly and was slightly disheartening not to meet the bright blue gaze of Dom; his must be one of the squads with Raoul.

Reaching the serving station she found all her appetite had deserted her, though she always remembered Duke Baird telling her to eat regularly no matter what the circumstances in order to keep her gift strong, so hesitating only slightly she helped herself to a small portion of everything, pausing to smile slightly at the vegetables and the mental picture of Neal's face that they conjured.

Taking a deep breath she turned around and looked for a table. As she scanned the room Aiden's words came back to her and she started to weave her way towards the table at the door. Sliding into the end of the row she fervently hoped that she was the only one that could hear the thumping of her heart and who realised that her hands were trembling slightly. Forcing lips into a smile she said the first thing that came into her head,

"I'm Evelyn; and don't believe everything Dom's told you about me, most of it is lies." Colour flooded her face; 'dam' Evelyn mentally chided herself, of all the things to say she would have to come out with rubbish, 'way to make a good impression'.

Aiden's squad looked at there new 'healer' in surprise and the hostile gazes they had been directing at her faded slightly, half of them had developed slight twinkles in their eyes after her blunt introduction, the other halves amusement was given away by the slight upward twitch around their mouths when they saw her blush.

They were glad she was nervous; they had been scared she was going to be cocky because she was noble and most of them were common. At least if she was trying they had a chance, it was obvious that she valued their opinions. Slowly and with a nod from their corporal the men began to introduce themselves. Evelyn let out a breath she only just realised she'd been holding and a weight lifted off her shoulders, perhaps this wasn't going to be so bad…

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The man on watch stared out into the semi darkness hard, his eyes squinting in the half light. He almost jumped back in shock from what he saw, "Please Mithros let my eyes be playing tricks!" As he grabbed his horn and began sounding the alarm others along the wall did the same. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as men of the Own and regular soldiers poured out of their respective barracks.

As Evelyn scrambled out of bed and ran outside her legs felt like jelly under her, it was too early, this attack wasn't meant to come for another couple of days! Raoul, his two squads and the reinforcements hadn't returned yet. As she looked round the camp she was impressed to see the walls were already lined with men in blue and silver, it was with a grim humour that she smiled, 'the enemy would have to do more to catch Fort Steadfast sleeping!' A sense of pride swelled up in her, this was her chance to help defend Tortall.

"Mark, Fergal, to me now." The two novice healers looked up in surprise there was a quiet determination radiating from the chief healer. She was standing up tall and there was no sign of any fear in her eyes. They automatically bowed as one, "Yes Lady".

Together with her two assistants Evelyn made her way to the infirmary. It had been decided last night that she should not go onto the walls to treat the injured but that they would instead be brought to her. Now she set about preparing beds and setting out bandaging.

Preoccupied as she was she didn't at first notice that in her haste she had grabbed a knife and slit her hand from the base of her thumb to the centre of her palm a shallow cut that bled sluggishly. When she noticed as it left a stain on the bandage she was handling the 'colourful' vocabulary issued from her mouth was that straight out of a sailor's vocabulary. To say Mark and Fergal were shocked was an underestimate.

Noticing their shocked expressions Evelyn felt she owed them an apology, they looked so stunned. "Sorry for the language, it's just that I don't want to waste any magic on me/this." At this she waved her neatly bandaged hand in the air: "When every drop of it will be required for later."

Fergal was the first to recover, he had heard a lot about this Lady from Wolset, his friend in Sergeant Domitan's squad. He had described her as a supposed wannabe knight, but who had been all talk and never actually applied for the training. Hence Fergal had had a rather low opinion of Evelyn, however this opinion had just been contested by the actions of the Lady herself, perhaps he would have to give her a chance on her own merit, or at least talk to Wolset again. A slow smile spread across his face.

"Well My Lady, with an attitude like that, I'd say we're gonna get through this just grand." Mark found his voice at last and added his support. "Agh sure the enemy will see all our boys in blue and silver and quake in their boots, they are gonna wish they'd stayed in bed this morning!"

Evelyn could feel a smile breaking over her face, and her eyes began to twinkle again, it was time to show that the men of the Kings Own were not just pretty faces. And a cynical part of her mind added that she wasn't someone who could just be married off to the first wealthy conservative that snapped his fingers at her.


	7. Chapter 7

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Heya, please review and let me know what you think, it's kinda scary having a story up with hardly any reviews – where exactly have I gone wrong?

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This is taking place at the same time as the previous chapter, except it is set in Haven, not Steadfast…

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…So in conclusion you have to grow up! Stop acting like a spoilt child who has been denied their favourite toy and get yourself back here. Your father, your Uncles, gods all be dammed your country needs you!

Dom flung himself back into his chair and crumpled yet another ink splattered piece of parchment before flinging it with undue force into the already overflowing bin, running frustrated hands through his hair for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. He just couldn't get that letter to sound right. Gods knew normally he could write anything that was required and put a positive spin on it, could even give the Scribes a run for their money on good days, Zamiel had tried more then once to make use of him with the report work for the camp.

This however was proving to be difficult; he _had_ to make her see sense. Neal was stretched to breaking point as were Duke Baird and Lady Alanna. There were simply too few healers to deal with the injured and it was driving him mad to know that Evelyn was acting the wronged noble Lady and staying well out of things in Carthak.

He stretched out his hand to try and relive the cramp and sighed, of course Lord Raoul was besotted with his goddaughter and so could be forgiven for trying to spare her the harsh reality of this war, but she needed to grow up at some point and if it was up to him to drag her into the adult world then he would.

Dam her to the Dark Gods realm anyway. His current situation was all her fault; here he was holed up in his quarters at Haven trying to write her a civil persuasive letter and it kept deteriorating into a rant. He huffed out a breath and practically growled at the paper lying in front of him.

He had always known Evelyn was no Lady Knight, teased her about it many a time, but had never figured her for a coward until she'd run away. He could / would never forgive her for the state she'd left her Uncle Raoul in. With that in mind and determination etched across his handsome face he snatched up his griffin feathered quill, (a belated birthday present from Kel, Evelyn hadn't even remembered his 22nd) and furiously began the letter again.

Twenty minutes later he leaned back again, and let out a bellow:

"Wolset!"

The scratching of chair legs being dragged across the wooden floor and the sound of heavy boots pounding up the stairs that led to his temporary quarters assured Dom that his Corporal had heard his summons. Right on queue there was a sharp knock on the door and the Corporal in question ambled in before taking a seat on his Sergeants bed. At Dom's raised eyebrow he only smiled:

"You look frighteningly similar to your cousin when you do that you know." Dom pulled a face before putting on the players theatrics he knew was expected from him: "I'm hurt, you've driven a dagger though me!" He flashed a brief genuine smile before thrusting his finished letter into the other mans hands, "Read this and let me know what you think please."

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Wolset raised his eyes to his commander's face before lowering them to read the letter a second time. He absently raised a hand to scratch his neck before reclining back onto the bed again. "Well Sir, in all honesty I agree with you, she's behaved appallingly, should have come back of her own accord weeks ago. Don't matter about the conservatives; she should put the needs of her family first. However don't you think you're being just a little bit harsh with her?"

At that he waved the letter about haphazardly and tried to gauge the look on his friends face, but there was only a carefully constructed curiosity about it – dam the Lady Knight for teaching him the basics of that dratted mask!

If she reads this she might not come home just to spite you, it's practically legend how you pair didn't get along, rubbed each other the wrong way if you will."

Dom buried his face in his hands; he just wanted her to come back in order for his cousin to lose that sickly pallor that was associated with the constant draining of his gift. And, if he was brutally honest with himself he also missed her sharp retorts to his comments, but those he could do without. He wasn't sure if he wanted a coward for a sparing partner.

"Wolset, if she doesn't come to help her people because I didn't treat her like a pretty little butterfly that can do no wrong, then Tortall truly is better off without her."

Wolset took one final look at his Sergeants tired face, the way under his tan he was pale, the sparkling blue eyes that told a story of exhaustion and betrayed his worry for his friends. He stood up in one less then fluid movement and walked to the door, "I'll see that the letter leaves with the first messenger out of here." Two minutes later he was reading it out to the rest of the squad, "Who else wants to sign?" He had to move to the side as all the men queued in order to sign the letter that they hoped would shock the red robed healer back to her homeland and to the front.

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Well I was going to write more for this chapter but here seemed like the best place to stop as if I kept going it would probably have been to long…


	8. Chapter 8

Evelyn could feel herself growing faint, and the edges of objects were beginning to seem slightly smudged but if she could just focus on the wounded soldier in front of her then perhaps the black dots dancing before her eyes would vanish

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed! Really gave me the confidence to continue this story! Hope this chapter isn't too confusing, the way it jumps from one POW to the next…

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Blood, that's all she could picture, blood running on the floor in mini rivers, blood soaking the men's uniforms, and blood caking on her own uniform and on her hands. Carthak hadn't prepared her for this, the raw screams of men as they had arrows pulled from their bodies or perhaps worse still the quieter murmurs and moans of those who knew they were going to die.

It had been like this for over 24 hours, the sun was rising on the second day of the battle and Evelyn could feel the strength draining more rapidly from her now, each healing was costing her more and her energy wasn't replenishing itself anymore. The sides of objects in front of her were beginning to seem smudged and her focus on the wounded man before her was interrupted by the black dots that seemed determined to dance before her eyes.

She reached out blindly as she stumbled and grabbed tightly onto the side of the bed, knuckles growing white with effort as she tried not to let out a gasp as the slight movement caused a blazing pain to flash across her head.

Taking a deep breath she uttered up a short and somewhat haggard prayer: "Mother Goddess please give me the strength to continue." The moan from the stricken man she had been standing over was all the extra encouragement she needed; looking deep down inside herself all she could find was the smallest glimmer of once powerful magic.

"Mithros! Why is it always gone when I need it the most?"

The briefest of green flames lit her hands reaching for the man's open wound, it wasn't jumping form her to him as it should though, causing her to actually bury her hands in his side before she felt the magic leaving her. As she felt him stir an agonising pain hit her head and the world faded before her…

Eoin, (a Corporal from 2nd Company who had been hit in the back with a poisoned Scanran arrow) opened once pained brown eyes as he felt his pain alleviating. The sight that greeted him however did nothing to comfort him.

"My Lady. Lady Evelyn. Evelyn! Help! Help! I need help over here!"

The man's desperate yells brought an exhausted Mark from the other room. His grey streaked chocolaty hair was mused and sweat soaked while there was dried blood covering his normally pristine healers robe. Wave after wave of injured men had been carried in off the walls, Fergal, having used all his gift within the first couple of hours had since resorted to being stretcher bearer. That meant that the only healer in charge of this main room was Evelyn, what was she doing to get this poor man in such a state…?

His mental grumblings were cut short by the sight that greeted him, there indeed was Evelyn, draped over the shouting soldiers' bed, but she wasn't healing him, Gods she wasn't even moving!

Mark rushed to the senior healer's side and turned her over. Hair had escaped from the bun she'd pulled it into and tendrils were lying about her face, a face that was paler then snow of a crisp winter's morning. There was blood slowly seeping from her nose and the oversized Own uniform she'd pulled on was soaked in blood. The foolish chit had gone and over-stretched herself. Thank goodness the battle was winding down and the majority of the wounded had been tended to.

"It's alright lad, she just tried a bit too hard, didn't have the magic to attempt that last bit of healing."

Mark stooped down and scooped the, (in his opinion) waif of a girl into his arms and made to carry her from the room. He smiled with a wry humour; it appeared that 24 hours of relentless healing could drain even the famous red robe. He was stopped in his tracks by the gruff voice of the soldier in the bed nearest the door, "Aye well it's a good thing she made that attempt, else wise I doubt young Eoin would be here now." His voice was joined by others all murmuring in agreement.

Mark shook his head, only yesterday these same men had been grumbling and swearing about the 'child' that they'd been sent as a healer and now she was their heroine. How easily opinions were swayed, he personally would wait a while longer before passing judgement.

Passing out of the doorway he intended to take her to her own quarters to recover but had to pause to catch his own breath. He too had been healing almost constantly although not the major wounds that she had had to deal with. As he went to move on Evelyn felt like a dead weight in his arms, he paused again to adjust to the bright rays of sunlight that were slowly spreading from the brow of the hill, the sight that greeted him in the yard was enough to make any man hesitate…

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Dom uttered a curse as the branch whipped into his cheek, he could tell by the sting it caused that a cut had formed. Raoul glanced back over his shoulder as he heard his Sergeant curse, but, after seeing it was only a scratch he lowered his head back down and motioned for the men to follow him closely. Dom and Osbern cantered side by side directly behind the Knight Commander and Standard Bearer with their respective squads following in two neat columns. With royal blue cloaks flying in the wind behind them and horses' hooves thundering they made quite the impressive sight. However, impressive looking or not, they'd been riding steadily throughout the night and the stress of not knowing what was happening at Steadfast was beginning to tell on them.

They cantered across the merrily bubbling river, horse's kicking up the water with strained faces, tension etched upon the shoulders of every man. Coming through the light scattering of trees and just as they were about to round the sweeping bend that would let them see Steadfast, (and as such assure them of the condition of their comrades,) they came upon a retreating war party, 5 mounted riders and 20 foot soldiers foaming at the mouth. The Scancrans let out yells of shock just as Raoul uttered a war cry. "This is it boys! Let's show them what it means to mess with the Own!" Dom unsheathed his sword and with a cry of his own charged a mounted Scanran…

Cut, thrust, weave. Dom's sword was a constantly moving blur as he ran the first Scanran through and moved on to the next. A warning shout from Fulcher allowed him to duck away from the arrow that had been aimed at his head. As he felt the adrenalin course through his body he let out a whoop and couldn't help the smile that broke upon his face. It appeared as though the Tortallan's had had a resounding victory.

Wolset looked round from where he had just finished off a foot soldier and felt a grin forming on his own suntanned face: "Look boys, our Sergeant's back in business! If only the court ladies could see him now they wouldn't flock as fast."

At Dom's puzzled expression Lerant laughed, a sound that carried like bells over the still morning. "Why wouldn't they come? After all, I am dashingly handsome and quite the pleasure to be with. You men just don't appreciate me!" Dom successfully ruined the seriousness of his speech with a quirked eyebrow and twinkling eyes.

Raoul spun Drum around to observe his bickering men and he too let a bellow of laughter escape, "Handsome? Not today Sergeant, I believe Neal could attract more interest then you today. What with your mud splattered and stubbly face and that charming cut look you have going on."

Dom spluttered indignantly as he urged his bay mare back into line and into a trot, "Well Sir, I haven't had a chance to shave in the last day or so and personally I feel that the ladies love a man looking rugged!"

The light hearted banter continued as they rounded that final bend and made their way up to the impressive gates of the Kings Own base along the border, Steadfast. Raoul seemed to swell with pride as he gazed upon the tall solid walls of the fort and the men who stood confidently along its ramparts. Dom too cast an appreciative eye over his temporary home as horn calls sounded and the gates were opened for them. He was just commenting to his squad how it was good to be back when Raoul's gasp grabbed his attention so fast that he swore he heard his neck crack. "Whaaa…?"

Following Raoul's gaze he felt his heart constrict in his chest. Glancing across at Wolset and Fulcher he perceived their ashen and shocked faces. Then in one fluid movement his attention was back on Raoul as the Commander in question dismounted and strode briskly towards the man that was swaying in the doorway, carrying what appeared to be, a rag doll, but no that wasn't possible, Evelyn was in Carthak, not lying as still as death in some soldiers arms…


	9. Chapter 9

Evelyn couldn't prevent the gentle moan that was drawn from her lips as she slowly came back into consciousness

I loved writing this chapter, finally both Evelyn and the Own are back in the same place – let the fun commence!

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Evelyn couldn't prevent the gentle moan that was drawn from her lips as she slowly came back into consciousness. Every muscle in her body was protesting violently and her eyelids felt like they'd been stuck together. She took several calming breaths and then lay still, trying to absorb as much of her surroundings as possible before the inevitable happened and she had to open her eyes.

She was tucked up in a bed; of that much she was certain. There simply wasn't anywhere else in this mountain fort that could leave her feeling so warm and cosy, plus by the sounds of things there was someone asleep in a chair quite close by, (that's if the gentle snores they were emitting were anything to go by). Through the open window she could hear the sound of a Sergeants voice issuing drill commands to his men, and in the distance the rushing river as it tumbled over rocks and around bends on its course to the Emerald Ocean.

Slowly but surely she eased her eyes open, only to shut them again quickly as she was blinded by the rays of sunlight that were streaming in through the window and dancing around the room. Just then there was a muted knock at the door causing whoever had been sleeping to awake with a groan and shuffle to answer it. The following sound of murmured voices raised Evelyn's curiosity to almost unbearable levels and she started to open her eyes again, raising a hand this time to shield them from the sun.

The sight that greeted her made her cry out in pleasure, there looking as though he had aged 10 years overnight was her beloved Uncle Raoul! He, hearing the noise looked up quickly startling another gasp out of his goddaughter. He was pale and stubble had grown where he was normally clean shaven, but it was his eyes that scared Evelyn the most, eyes that were haunted and defined by large black circles underneath them. It looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"What's wrong? Is it Steadfast?" At the blank look on his face she plunged on, well aware that she could be considered to be 'blabbering'.

"I thought we were winning, it was almost over, what's happened…Raoul?"

The sound of her voice seemed to finally pull Raoul out of his shock and in two long strides he dropped the letter he'd just received and grabbed his goddaughter in a bear crushing hug. "Never, _ever _scare me like that again!"

"Scare you?" Evelyn wracked her brains for what she could possibly have done to scare such a brave man.

"But all I did was over-reach myself slightly. I'll admit that it was foolish but that boy was going to die, I couldn't let him! I just couldn't, there had already been so much death…" And to her eternal embarrassment Evelyn could feel tears welling up and hear her voice taking on a pleading note, she had to make him understand.

"Just over-reached yourself..." Raoul's voice had taken on a tone she couldn't place and he dropped back into his chair before repeating that same phrase: "Just over-reached yourself. Evelyn do you remember cutting your finger?" He seemed to take the flush that spread rapidly across her face as a yes.

"At some point during the day your bandage came off." He held up a hand to stop her interrupting, "No I don't know when or how, the point is that it happened. So that when you went to heal that young Corporal some of the poison from his wound got mixed into your blood. With you already having weakened yourself to a state of collapse the poison spread through your body like wildfire. It took three days for Mark and Fergal to bring the fever down and you've been asleep ever since." He dropped his head into hands the size of small hams, "Gods Evelyn I thought we'd lost you".

Evelyn cursed the lead weight of her limbs and the blankets that prevented her from going to comfort her Uncle. The guilt was coursing through her, she'd come to try and help and all she'd managed to do was cause her Uncle more stress, would she never get anything right? The tears of pity were flowing freely now and she began to tremble as the enormity of what had happened hit her. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be such a burden, I just wanted to help."

Raoul looked up and smiled his first smile in what seemed like weeks, there was Evelyn the tears tripping her, and hair mused from sleep. He'd heard that some women could cry and look beautiful, Evelyn wasn't one of those women and he told her as much, drawing a watery laugh from the figure in the bed.

"You weren't a burden, far from it actually." At the snort from the bed he raised an eyebrow before trying to explain: "We've never had such need of healers as we do now. Without you I would have lost a substantial amount of good fighters. It's just that I still view you as the little girl who would come sit on my knee and beg for stories…"

After a comfortable silence Evelyn voiced the question that had been on the tip of her tongue every since she realized the reason for her present state was not the result of just a little over excretion. "How long have I been asleep for?"

Raoul stood up and stretched his spine crackling as he did so. "This is the 6th day. I think I'll leave you to rest a bit, you're looking pale." He got half way to the door before remembering, "Oh here, this letter arrived for you, looks like it was originally addressed to Carthak. Funny, I could swear I've seen that writing before…" With that he tossed the letter onto the bed and after giving Evelyn one last hug wandered out the door, whistling a cheery tune as he went.

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Dom sat up in bed with a start. He wiped a lightly shaking hand across his forehead only to find it covered in a sheen of sweat. It had happened again; exactly the same dream that had been haunting his sleep for the past 6 nights. It didn't matter what he did to try and prevent it, they still came. Yesterday for example he'd trained himself and the boys into the ground, so that by the time they'd gotten back to the barracks they'd been exhausted, falling asleep on their feet, but it had done no good. Every time he closed his eyes he could see it all happening again…

He'd watched as Raoul reached the swaying man, and had prayed that his eyes were deceiving him, that it wasn't her. He could tell by his squads' faces that every one of them was praying the same. Then it all seemed to happen at once, the man holding her up fainted dead away and Raoul bellowed for help. He'd been the first one there, and Mithros save him it was her. She'd lain in her uncles arms like a limp rag doll, a drip of blood seeping from her nose, face an un-natural waxy white.

Her uniform was that of a corporal, some of it was stiff from encrusted blood; while around the sleeves it was still wet, shining scarlet in the morning sun. It was completely wrong! He'd wanted her here so that she could heal, could relieve the stress felt by the other healers; she wasn't meant to get herself killed!

For the past six days she'd hovered somewhere between life and death. Mark and Fergal said there was nothing more they could do, that it was up to her, if she chose to face the pain and fight she might pull through, otherwise it was only a matter of time until the dark god claimed her for his own. Raoul had barely left her side since.

Dom had gone in once with a message and had stood transfixed, the girl that he'd once known had vanished. In her place was a woman, her hair damp with sweat as it clung to her forehead, the red flushed cheeks telling of the burning fever that was raging through her body, threatening to consume her. Her occasional moans and raspy breathing drove daggers though him…

Dam her anyway! All of this was her fault! If she'd just healed that blasted cut when she had the chance instead of trying to act all noble. She was such a silly little court girl. (Some part of him deep down knew he was being irrational, that he'd have done the same in her position, but that wasn't the point.) Blaming Evelyn was a comfort thing. If he could blame her then he didn't have to think that she might not make it though this. (Not that he cared of course, she was only another court face to him) but it would kill Raoul to lose his goddaughter.

It was then that he heard the faint strains of cheerful whistling reach him. He was fairly certain that he was hearing things, after all it was only himself, Aiden and Raoul who had rooms along this corridor and Aiden was out giving his lads drills. Like a bolt he was out of bed and tugging on a pair of breeches. He skidded out of the door only half dressed, "Sir!"

Raoul turned around at the sound of his young Sergeants desperate call and had to chortle at what he perceived. Dom's hair was tussled, and his tunic was only half on, behind him, jumbled at the top of the staircase was what appeared to be the majority of his squad, all in similar apparel.

"Sir is this, does this mean…?" Dom's voice trailed off but the hope in his and his men's eyes was there for all to see.

"Yes Sergeant it does 'mean' as you so adequately put it. Evelyn just woke up and she seems to be fine. A little tired but definitely awake, I imagine she'll be back to arguing with you within the week!"

Dom let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and sank back so he could lean against the wall. "That's good news Sir." He couldn't resist one more comment and with a broad smile muttered, "I always did win those arguments…"

He laughed and had to duck as Fulcher aimed a swipe at him, "Oy! Where's the respect for your superior officer?"

Lofren gave Dom a charmingly innocent smile, "So sorry Sir, these hedge pigs have absolutely no manners at all."

At his friends incredulous looks he grinned wider and continued, "It's just that I seem to remember the Lady Evelyn winning most arguments you pair had." At Dom's theatrical roar of rage and cries of: "Injustice, Come back you cowards!" The squad turned on its heels and ran, their Sergeant hot on their heels. Raoul gave a shake of his head and a bellow of laughter, all was back to normal.

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Evelyn picked up the letter with a cat like curiosity. It was indeed addressed to her residence in Carthak. She was momentarily hit with a faint pang of longing for sun kissed evenings and light-hearted banter. A world where this war didn't exist. Shaking her head to clear it of it's follies she smiled lightly to herself and opened the letter with one smooth movement.

Ten minutes later she was bubbling with the kind of rage that she'd previously only seen displayed on the Lioness's face after she and Uncle Jon had had a particularly violent argument about Lady Knight Keladry. At least she was going to pretend that it was anger because the only other emotion it could be described as was hurt / pain, which was impossible, as she didn't care what _he _thought of her, wouldn't care! It then followed that the only reason that she was yet again crying like one of the ridiculous court butterflies that she'd always held in such contempt was not because she was hurt, but because she was so cross her emotions didn't know how to react…

The offending note fell from the clasp of her hands and settled on the bed cover as she fiercely wiped her eyes and vowed never to talk to Domitan of Masbolle or any of his squad ever again…

'Lady Evelyn of Naxen

I have taken you for many things in the past, but never a coward! Never the less, a coward is what you are. The very worst kind! One who not only turns her back on her family, but on her country when it needs her the most.

All your talk of wanting to be a Knight, of being denied your hearts desire – rubbish! The King and your Father spared you the embarrassment of being kicked out of page-hood due to lack valour. You claim to be friends with Neal and yet you would let him and every other healer, (including your aunt) drain themselves while you sit pretty in your nice warm holiday country and learn from silly books!

In conclusion you have to grow up! So what if a couple of conservatives asked for your hand in marriage? By running to Carthak you weren't trying to spare your father, you were merely saving your own sorry neck. Regardless of how much grief it put your family through; you were only catering for your own selfish needs. Stop acting like a spoilt child who has been denied their favourite toy and get yourself back here. Your father, your Uncles, gods all be dammed your country needs you!

_Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle_

_Corporal Wolset_

_Corporal Fulcher_

_Lofren_

_Giles_

_Edward_

_Martin_

_George_

_Alexei_

_Benjamin_ '

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	10. Chapter 10

Evelyn cautiously swung her legs out over the bed and lowered her weight, (somewhat gingerly) onto them

Well here goes chapter 10! Review please… 

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Evelyn cautiously swung her legs out over the bed and lowered her weight, (somewhat gingerly) onto them. Her quiet whoop of exhilaration when she found they would support her would have drawn funny looks from any passers-by, but she was lucky as the wing of head-quarters where her room was located was currently deserted.

Slowly she reached for her healer's robes, (an off-white bell-shaped coat cut from handmade felt and hand-embroidered with Evelyn's heraldry in gold thread, gold bullion and hand-painted pearls. It was spelled to repel dirt and she loved it). Once it was in her grasp she hurriedly pulled it over her head and made for the door. The second she made it out of headquarters she headed for the twisting staircase that would lead her onto the battlements. She was just over half way up the sturdy pine steps when one of the off duty soldiers spotted her:

"Wait! What do you think you're doing?!" Evelyn took a quick glance over her shoulder and lifting up her skirt ran up the last couple of steps. She could tell by the sound of clattering boots that he was following. With a peal of laughter and feeling more exhilarated then she had in ages she took off along the walkway, quietly slipping in behind the guard tower where she was sure the poor soldier wouldn't see her. The gamble paid off and after a few minutes of fruitless searching he gave up, shaking his head and walking back inside.

Evelyn took several deep calming breaths and leaned out over the wall. The sun was just rising and its rays seemed to kiss her as they slid up over the nearby hills. She closed her eyes and stretched her head back, exposing her throat to the warmth. After over a week of being kept on the strictest bed rest it was heaven to feel the gentle breeze on her face, nothing could ruin this moment…

The sound of a familiar mans baritone voice pulled her back down to earth with a bump. She'd thought too soon, there was one person who could ruin this moment, and by sound of his voice he was just around the corner. She gave one last look of longing out over the landscape, (ohh how she'd love to go down to the river) and stepped back down. Down and right into the path of Sergeants Domitan and Aiden.

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Dom felt his breath catch in his throat and he whatever it was he had been about to say to Aiden died in his throat. There bathing in the pale morning sun, her hair gently blowing in the breeze was Evelyn.

Aiden stopped dead alongside Dom, he had thought her beautiful when he'd met her in mud splattered breeches but here, up on the ramparts in a gown that beautifully highlighted her figure she was nothing short of a goddess.

"Mithros Dom she's exquisite, how could you ever call her plain?"

Dom heard Aiden's muttered question but found he was in no state to answer it, at first glance his heart had skipped a beat but now he could fast feel angry bubbling in his veins.

She had to be the singularly most selfish creature in the world! Here he was worried that she was wasting away in her room and she was sneaking around battlements looking like any other harmless court lady out for a morning stroll. The least she could have done was come to talk to him, they'd known each other for years, she must have know that neither he nor his squad would be happy until they'd seen her with their own eyes!

Instead she'd left them all in limbo, when she hadn't emerged after the brief couple of days Raoul had promised his dreams had come back to haunt him. He couldn't get the picture of her lying on that bed fighting for every life giving breath out of his head. So to see her now looking like she did when he'd first met her stirred feelings that were something between relief and resentment.

Then she'd stepped back down and he'd caught her gaze and stood corrected, this wasn't the young girl he'd first met. Her eyes no longer sparkled with the innocence and carefree attitude he'd previously associated with them; instead they held compassion, knowledge and was that hurt? No this wasn't his Evelyn: she was gone, replaced by this woman in front of him, one who had seen the Kraken and had found it wanting…

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Aiden stepped forward quickly as she fell off balance, grasping her upper arm firmly, "Wow steady there." His eyes were twinkling, "It's good to see you up and about again."

Evelyn graced him with a warm smile, her eyes lightening up, this was the man who'd given her courage her first night and who had apparently looked in on her several times while she'd been ill. It helped that he was easy on the eyes, his auburn hair curling slightly, chocolaty brown eyes having flecks of copper fire in them. Around the same age as Dom he was every bit as broad, strong shoulders filing out his tunic to perfection.

"It's good to be up! I swear if I'd spent another day staring at the ceiling I'd have gone mad! I hear you visited me, I wanted to thank you for that, you didn't have to…"

"Agh away with you if it hadn't been for you my arm would still be aching like mad. You're looking well, if you don't mind me saying. Thought my eyes were playing tricks with me when I rounded the corner there now. Isn't that right Dom?" He elbowed his companion playfully in the ribs and flashed him a grin.

Dom for his part was standing rigidly still; a muscle in his jaw twitching slightly, Aiden had visited her, why he didn't even know her! And what was with the way Evelyn was gazing at his fellow sergeant, she hadn't even acknowledged _him_.

It was only another dig in the ribs from Aiden that made him realise that he'd been asked a question, "What? Sorry I didn't quite…"

Evelyn cut him off before he could continue, for the first time meeting his eyes, "I'm sure Sergeant Domitan has better things to do then look at a coward like me. Perhaps he has some letters to write?" Aiden, looking between the two was puzzled by their body language, Evelyn's eyes were hard flints glittering with betrayal while Dom's face moved from puzzlement to comprehension in one sharp flinch.

"I'm terribly sorry but I'm suddenly feeling tired. I believe I shall go to lie down. Good morning Aiden, Sergeant Domitan." With an inclination of her head she turned and practically ran the length of the walkway…

"Sergeant Domitan? I thought you and our Lady Healer were on first name basis?" His teasing tone faded to one of concern when he took in his compainions profile. Where just minutes before he had been laughing now he was pale and strained, his face buried in his hands.

"Dom?" When his friend met his gaze it was to reveal haunted eyes, "Gods she got that blasted letter."

"Letter? And which letter would this be?" Aiden was giving Dom his full attention now, something was clearly wrong. While the relationship between his fellow sergeant and the Lady Evelyn was infamous it had always seemed to be in good humour, had certainly been the cause of many a laugh in the barracks. Now however it seemed like there was genuine animosity between the pair.

"I wrote a letter asking her to come back to Tortall, to help with the war. It seemed to me that she'd run away. We were stationed at Haven as you know, and everyday I was forced to watch as Neal drained himself because he was so over worked and everyday it seemed I heard tales of her amazing climb up the healers' ranks."

Aiden interrupted him mid speech, "There's nothing wrong with that, we need all the help we can get."

Dom shook his head: "If only it were that simple, then we could go back to disliking each other in peace. The thing is I let my emotions run away with me and took a lot of my frustration out on her."

Aiden summarised the ending for himself, "So you ended up calling her a coward and all the while she was already here…"

"Exactly. What am I going to do? I mean we don't get on, never have, but I don't want her believing that I think of her in that way..."

Aiden gave him an incredulous look, "Do? Well I suggest you go after her and try to explain…"

Dom gave a feeble attempt at a laugh, "It is at times like this you make it apparent that you've only had a short acquaintance with Evelyn. I've hurt her; the chances of her letting me within a mile of her are slim."

"So **make** her listen!"

As Dom stared in the direction Evelyn had taken Aiden give him a shove, "Sometime today!"

Pausing only to clap his friend on the shoulder Dom took off, taking the stairs tow at a time. Aiden was right, if it came to it he could always hold her down while he explained himself…


	11. Chapter 11

"Evelyn

Hey as always a big thank you to anyone who is sticking with this story, please review and let me know what you think. Reviews are class they really do inspire you to keep writing! 

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"Evelyn! Wait up"

Dom ran down the walkway and practically flung himself down the stairs, he was just in time to see her pale face glance back at him before, with a swish of her dress she disappeared around the corner.

"Gods all be damned." He swore softly to himself as he too rounded the bend and found himself just outside head quarters. It was typical that the one Lady he had unwittingly hurt was also the one that would show no mercy. Most others would have at least given him a chance to explain…

She stopped in order to wrench open the heavy oak door and with trembling hands slammed it shut behind her. She slowed down and tried to regain some composure, before slipping into her room and taking a deep breath, her adrenaline was pounding but she'd managed to escape, for now…

With three long strides Dom reached the door and pulled it open, only to have another slammed in his face. "Evelyn stop this! At least just listen to me!" The complete silence that greeted him caused him to growl in frustration, before a brain wave hit him! Gods he was a genius, Meathead would be so proud!

Two minutes later his brainwave didn't seem to be quite such the good idea that it had. He was half way up the side of the building and clinging to a drain pipe, he could swear that there were splinters were embedded inches into his hands and legs!

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Evelyn couldn't believe her ears, she could hear an animal in pain beneath her window, but upon sticking her head out all she was greeted with was Dom's tousled head, and blistered palms. With a final haul he dragged himself in through the window and collapsed onto the bed.

"I should have realised that it wasn't a good idea when I related it to one of Meatheads schemes…." He glanced up and offered a smile only to be met by disbelieving frosty eyes.

The owner of those eyes was in shock, how dare he! Hadn't she made her position clear when she slammed the door in his face? Was he just here to make her feel worse about herself? Could he have forgotten something that he meant to put in the letter?

Suddenly it was all too much to bear, if he was going to inhabit her room then she wasn't! Giving him horrified looks she re-crossed the room and tried to wrench open the door.

"I don't want to hear it!" She stuttered slightly before raising her chin and glaring at him as if daring him to protest. Dom sighed, it appeared that charm wasn't going to work; he stood up and straightened his mussed tunic before stepping towards her…

"Evelyn, listen…" His voice was gentle but the hand he laid on her arm firm; he was scared she was going to bolt like a startled horse and quite frankly she wasn't going anywhere until she listened!

Evelyn stopped fumbling with the catch and let her hands fell to her sides. Taking a deep breath she squared her shoulders before turning around to face him in one fluid movement. Her face was pale but cheeks were flushed while green eyes flashed with an anger that, while not unexpected was unpleasant none-the-less.

"Listen to you? Why on earth would I want to do that? So you can explain to me again how I'm not worth the mud on your boots?" Evelyn linked her hands behind her back so he couldn't see just how badly they were trembling, couldn't see just how much she'd taken his words to heart.

Dom stared, momentarily speechless all the twinkle lost from his hauntingly blue eyes. That trick of hiding her hands from view was doing her no good what-so-ever, her whole body was shaking like a leaf and her eyes were definitely over bright. A hand clenched at his heart and he couldn't stop the waves of guilt that seemed determined to wash over him. He'd never considered her feelings, in fact now that he thought about it, in all the time he'd known her he never had done. She the only court lady he could tease and she had the wit to give back as good as she got. Feelings had never entered into things.

"It isn't like that, you don't understand…" He paused to gather his thoughts and tried to think of a plausible explanation for his actions, absently running a hand through his hair. He didn't notice that the other one was still gripping her arm.

"No, it's you that doesn't understand." Evelyn cursed mentally as her voice rose several notches and cracked, "You told me I was a coward to run from that marriage, but you have no idea what it cost me!" Dom started towards her an explanation forming on his lips but again she cut him off…

"Getting on that boat was the hardest thing I've ever done. I arrived in a strange country where I was completely alone. The women of the court treated me like a particularly bad beetle that had to be squished and the men like I was an exotic animal to be caged."

Tears were flowing freely now but she couldn't stop, it was almost as though all the homesickness and loneliness that she had felt at the time were coming back with a vengeance and this time she simply wasn't strong enough to suppress it.

"I know I should have come back but I couldn't. Don't you understand, I would have been seen as a failure. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a Lady of the court?

Dom mutely shook his head, he got the feeling that her present state of mind wasn't all based on the letter, that somewhere along the line he'd missed something important. As she plunged on neither noticed the squad that had piled up on a ladder placed against her window.

"I was seen as useless, even when I got here I was viewed with contempt, I wasn't a Lady Knight or a Queen's Rider – and was therefore worthless. And this was with people who were supposed to know me! Then just when I thought I'd been accepted for who I was, I got that gods forsaken letter, and it confirmed every one of my worst nightmares. I'd have been a disappointment if I'd come home early and yet I'm a coward because I didn't"

At that she appeared to slump and all the fight went out of her. She was wracked with sobs that seemed to be trying to tear her apart.

Dom stared aghast, he didn't think just acted on instinct, closing the gap between them and pulling her roughly into his arms muttering soothing nonsense and apologies in her ear

"I'm so sorry Evelyn, I never thought. I was just so scared that Neal was going to kill himself and you were the only help I could think of."

It was strange how she seemed to slot into his arms, her head coming to rest between his neck and shoulder, but any sense of comfort he felt was ruined by her hot salty tears on his skin, they were a constant reminder of how much he had hurt her.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Wolset appeared from behind him and rubbed Evelyn's back, "We're all sorry. We just wanted you home." His voice was joined by those of all the other members of the squad. They had stepped forward and now surrounded their Sergeant and, (in their opinions) _their_ Lady.

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Evelyn inhaled deeply; it was like a tonne weight had been lifted off her shoulders, no more pretending that her stay in Carthak had been all flowers and parties. She hadn't realised how much she had missed home, or how much she had relied on the idea of friends when she returned.

Again she breathed in deeply, there was soft material against her cheek and her nose appeared to be nestled against warm skin that smelt of sandalwood and clean linen. It occurred to her that she felt safe, completely safe for the first time in ages. It was also round about this time that it hit her what exactly it was she was doing and whose arms she was snuggled in…

She tugged away sharply and had to duck her head to disguise the red flush she could feel rapidly spreading across her cheeks.

"So we're back to the way we were before?" It seemed to Dom that he was blinded by the grins of his men. He placed cool fingers under her chin and forced her to look at him, his sapphire eyes twinkling and his smile stretching the entire way across his face. "Of course, just don't expect me to let you win any arguments…"

At Evelyn's outraged huff he laughed and called his men to attention.

"Right boys, enough of your chin-wagging, practice courts in 20 minutes, we have drills to run!"

As his men scrambled down their precariously balanced ladders in a desperate bid to be ready on time he pulled Evelyn into a quick hug, "It's good to have you back, even if you are the bane of my life… Ouch!"

She grinned as she elbowed him sharply in the ribs and ducked out of his arms, "Someone has to be, else wise your head would get so big you wouldn't fit through doorways!"

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Raoul paused in the middle of his inspection of the camp, "Flyn, do you have any idea why Sergeant Domitans squad are piling down on ladders from Evelyn's room?"

Flyndan paused and glanced sideways at his friend of over 18 years, the Knight Commander had a grin playing about his mouth and a comically raised eyebrow.

"No, absolutely no idea at all, I was of the impression that Evelyn and that particular squad weren't talking, in fact the atmosphere between them was colder then this gods forsaken bit of land at the height of winter!"

Just then the sergeant in question appeared on the ladder, he dropped gracefully to the ground and made of in the direction of his men calling orders. Raoul looked thoughtful, "Flyn, I do believe we will have to visit the practice courts…"

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They made it halfway across the camp before they were accosted by a mud soaked messenger who looked like he hadn't slept in days. He bowed hastily before thrusting a letter into Raoul's hands, "Sir, it's from Lord Wyldon. It's urgent."

Raoul took one look at the man before him and tore open the letter, what greeted him made him take a sharp intake of breath before pushing the offending parchment into his Seconds waiting hand and bellowing orders, "Sergeant Domitan, Sergeant Osbern, Healer Evelyn to me **now**!"

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	12. Chapter 12

Evelyn urged her tired mare into an even faster trot, it seemed like she'd been in the saddle for days, when it reality it had only been several hours

Heya, this is just a short chapter, hope everyone enjoys though, the next one should be up within a couple of days…

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Evelyn urged her tired mare into an even faster trot, it seemed like she'd been in the saddle for days, when it reality it had only been several hours. Her face was splattered with mud from where the horses' hooves in front of her had kicked it up and her back was beginning to ache from sitting in the saddle so long.

Dom glanced back in time to see Evelyn try and stretch in the saddle, he grinned through the mud that covered his own face. "Evelyn dear, do tell us if all this riding gets too much for your poor delicate body…" She smiled sweetly in return, "Why Domitan, what could you possible know about my body? Have you been dreaming about me again?" Guffaws of laughter followed this even as Dom retorted with, "You wish!"

Osbern called back to the Healer who was riding with them to Mastiff, "Do you find that Dom stalks you often?" At Dom indignant huff and exclamation of denial Evelyn opened her mouth, "All the time, its awful!" She too was grinning now sharing the easy banter that rippled between the two squads.

Clutching his hand over his heart Dom responded, "You cads, I'm wounded to the quick, you unmerciful lot are meant to be on my side!" Fulcher put on his best sober face, "Aye Sergeant we are, it's just that it has come to our attention that the Lady Evelyn is far prettier then you." "Dom muttered something about "Fickle men" before easing his bay mare up alongside Raoul who was the only man without a smile.

"Sir is everything alright, why are we heading to Mastiff in such a hurry?" All the other men quietened down as they heard Dom's question, it was the same one that had been on all their minds since they'd been dragged from the practice courts, and in Osberns' Squads case, breakfast.

Raoul looked back at the two columns of silent men and one healer, who in return raised a delicate eyebrow at her godfather. "Well lads it's like this, late yesterday afternoon Lord Wyldon received word that there is a big attack planned for the area between Steadfast and Mastiff, we are riding to help plan the defence." As he paused for breath a babble of voices broke out behind him. Dom however was not fooled, "And…?" He prompted.

"That's not all. Also yesterday Haven was attacked by a large force, early reports suggest that there were at least 10 killing devices present as well as over 200 enemy soldiers."

Evelyn seemed to go numb. That was why she was here, because people were so badly mauled the regular healers at Mastiff were overrun. She furiously tried to do calculations in her head, why there must have been at least 600 refugees at Haven, and at least half of those were women and children. Suddenly she felt sick to the pit of her stomach as her imagination went into overdrive. It was all she could do to keep her breakfast down and retain some dignity in front of the men.

To Dom the world seemed to stand still for a second as he processes all he had been told, both Meathead, (whom he saw as a brother) and Kel were there. Neither of them would have given up without a fight, he could feel his stomach beginning to violently rebel. Raoul who had noticed that his Sergeants face had turned ashen and that his eyes looked haunted hurried to reassure him.

He leaned over and shook the younger mans arm lightly, "Dom its alright. Your cousin and Kel were at Mastiff reporting at the time of the attack. Both are fit and well, I believe they are probably attending burial duties." "Mithros only knows how Kel is coping though…"

This last was muttered under his breath, but Evelyn who had ridden up alongside and laid a hand bathed in pale green fire on Dom's arm heard. She could help but hope Kel had taken it well. She wasn't stupid, she knew Raoul loved her, but didn't even try to compete with Kel. She was his warrior, his ex-squire and he loved her just like a daughter. It would kill him if anything happened to her…

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Right I know this was short and nothing much really happened but I just wanted to show everyone how things have gotten back to normal between Kel and Dom. This is obviously taking place just before Kel goes after her refugees and the next chapter will focus mainly on how Evelyn is feeling as she stands on the bank waiting to see out of her friends have come back alive. (The reason I skipped on is I like how Tamora Piece wrote about Dom and co going after Kel and I thought it would detract from my story if I tried to change it!)

Ttyl xox


	13. Chapter 13

"I won't be left behind like a forgotten rag doll

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"I won't be left behind like a forgotten rag doll!" Evelyn was clearly furious as she passed up and down in Wyldon's office, "We both know you need healers and I am quite capable of defending myself if I have to!"

Wyldon didn't even look up from the stack of missives in front of him, "I said no. My decision is final. You would be a danger to both yourself and are more then likely to get good men killed on a battle field."

The irony was practically dripping from her tongue as she replied; she really wanted to shake the stubborn man. "So you would have 'good men' die on the field for no better reason then a healer couldn't reach them on time?!"

At that Wyldon snapped; "Lady Evelyn, I appreciate that you're worried about your friends but that is no excuse for your behaviour which is bordering on insubordination. I'm not going to change my mind no matter how much you rant. You can play 'knight' somewhere else; I don't have time for it!"

With that he stood and guided the fuming healer from his office. As she turned around, another argument forming on her lips she was greeted by the sight of a door slamming in her face.

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Evelyn stormed down the corridor. To say she was upset would have been like saying the Vassa was a small stream. If he expected her to wait like a good little lady while men were dying and she could do something to help he had another thing coming. She'd understood when Raoul had banned her from going with Dom's squad – it made more sense for her to stay when there was such a big battle planned. It was logic for her to be where the wounded were.

But this was ridiculous, to be kept behind bars, left to waste while others fought for her. She needed to do something; her gut was constantly clenched in worry…

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It was close to midnight the night before the troops moved out when it hit her - Lady Alanna! It was so obvious; she couldn't understand why she hadn't thought of it before. Green eyes blazed with determination, she couldn't use her gift that would defeat the whole point of her going, she needed to be fully charged for this battle.

Evelyn strode over to the mirror and stared at her reflection, pulling her hair back from her face. Tilting her neck back and then to the side her lips pursed in contemplation. It was possible it might work, Raoul and Third Company would see straight through her of course, but if she rode with the Seconds it was possible she might just go unnoticed…

Her mouth set in a determined line she fumbled in the drawer. Still despite her resolution her fingers trembled as they reached for the scissors. It wasn't that she was overly vain; it was just that she loved her hair; she had let it grow long, so now its wavy blonde lengths reached the middle of her back, with the half fringe neatly framing her face. Nevertheless taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she cut the first piece off. It seemed to hit the floor with a thud as loud as thunder; her heart was racing as she picked the next piece.

An hour later a very pretty boy stood in front of the mirror, her breasts were bound tight to her chest and her hair was haphazardly cut short to just above her shoulders and then tied back into a knot at the base of her neck with a leather thong. It might not have been as short as Kel's but it would pass for a mans. She was despairing of her slender neck, no matter what she had tried short of a glamour there was no way it could look well muscled. The tunic of the Own fitted her snugly, she'd padded herself with bandaging, it bulked her out but still left her fully mobile. The black and green band of a healer was tied onto her left arm. She'd be dammed if men would die because no healer was there….

Her feet made no sound as they flew down the stairs and towards the armoury, the silvery moonlight seemed to highlight her every move and somewhere she was sure Lord Wlydon was just waiting to jump out on her and have her sent back to Corus for disobeying direct orders.

Upon reaching the door she paused to catch her breath, while she didn't consider herself unfit her nerves were strained to breaking point, and at the back of her head was the constant knowledge that Dom and his squad could be dead. She would defy anyone to be in good nick with that hanging over them.

It was crazy this, having to sneak around in the dark, but she'd be no use on the front line without a weapon. Wlydon was correct in that respect, she was no warrior, once on the field she'd have to stick to the back and simply attend the fallen. But it was just stupidity to go without a sword; she opened the heavy oak door and stepped inside. Her fingers ran over different hilts until she found one that fitted the palm of her hand, the hilt was inlaid in gold braiding and its edge was razor sharp. 'Thank the goddess that Aunt Alanna taught me how to wield a sword.'

Upon returning to her rooms she cleared a small space and began the drills she remembered from childhood…

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Raoul watched proudly as the remainder of Third Company and all of Second Company filed out in front of him. He would feel the loss of Domitan's squad but that couldn't be helped, they were much more use where they were. He was glad that group of knights had followed as well. Not only did it swell numbers but most importantly Nealan was a healer. While he had known that it would be better to send a healer with the squad he simply wasn't prepared to send Evelyn. While he loved her to pieces and knew her sword work was passable she wasn't cut out for undercover work. That and the whole of Scarca would have known they were coming, what with her and Dom's constant bickering…

Where was Evelyn anyway? He hadn't seen her since Lord Wlydon had demanded that she remain behind. Suddenly he got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, she'd grown up among heroes like Alanna, Buri and Thayet, no way would she have taken that lying down…

"Flyn, have you seen Evelyn?" His second absently looked across from surveying the men, "Do you mean the new healer that has suddenly appeared in Second Company overnight?"

Raouls' neck almost snapped in his haste to look and sure enough almost immediately his eyes locked with those of his goddaughters. He could feel his jaw go slack, just what had she done to herself. Her hair was mussed and short, she looked elvish. He had to give it to her though, from a distance you would never have picked her from the crowd, Mithros but her mother was going to kill him for letting her cut her hair.

He was just about to order her home when he caught the look of mulish determination etched all over her face. Flyndan followed his gaze,

"Aye, well you've got to hand it to her I suppose."

Without looking away from those green eyes Raoul replied, "Got to hand what to he, she's going to get herself killed!"

"Naw, she's going to prove to the men that she's _their_ healer, that she'll follow them to battle and be there to pick up the pieces…"

As his mind picked up on what Flydan had said he saw Evelyn break eye contact and turn to the man beside her. Suddenly as one the squad formed a protective ring around her and looking towards him saluted smartly. Raoul was almost knocked off his horse by the feelings of pride that engulfed him. His little girl had really grown up, now all he hoped for was that she was given the chance to keep growing that he wasn't going to regret his decision.

With a sharp salute back he nodded to Lerant to raise the flag and he rode out at the head of over 200 men and one woman, offering up a prayer as he went, 'Please Mithros keep her safe, don't let this be the last time I see her.'

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You know the drill, reviews would be much appreciated 


	14. Chapter 14

Camp Vassa two days after the large battle that defined the fighting of the summer and the day before Kel returns

_Camp Vassa two days after the large battle that defined the fighting of the summer and the day before Kel returns. All the companies are living in tents and Merric has just returned._

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Raoul laid down the piece of worn parchment that he had been clenching in his fist and looked at the young knight that he had sent for and who had just entered he tent, the same young man who was trying to desperately stand to attention in front of him. He could feel the tension in his shoulders and knew that it would be reflected on his face. He desperately wanted to rest but needed information, and hoped that this green knight would be able to give it to him.

Leaning back in order to brace himself against the desk he started the questioning: "You say that she continued on after the children? How many men did she take with her? Were there any of them wondered or unfit? He mentally winced as he barked out the questions and the young knight flinched, he hadn't meant to sound quite so fierce…

Merric, (the knight in question) yet again tried to stand straighter and report but his side and shoulder were killing him and his head seemed to be swimming in fog. Nevertheless he repeated all that knew for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"We caught up with Stenum and his men after 3 days. Before we could attack though he split off; taking about 100 men-at-arms and the children with him. That night we attacked, leaving none of the enemy alive. Kel told me to get her refugee's back home safely; she knew I wasn't fit to help her…"

The last bit was muttered in a self despairing way. Raoul, knowing how hard it was to let your friends ride into danger where you can't follow laid a comforting hand on the red heads shoulder.

With a little prompting Merric pulled himself together and continued with his report. "She took Sergeant Domitan's Squad, the Convict squad and some refugees with her, the ones that refused to be left behind, Fanche and Stefan were among them. That's all I know Sir."

Raoul absently nodded and happened to look at his hand, to say he was alarmed at the way it was covered in tacky red blood would be an understatement. He glanced urgently at the now swaying boy in front of him and noticed he was bleeding slowly through. He mentally cursed his own short sight and dismissed him with the order: "Go find yourself a healer, Duke Baird or Lady Evelyn should be in one of the tents edged in green. Tell them to fix your shoulder up and then come to see me."

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Duke Baird and Evelyn were having a much deserved rest and drink of spiced apple juice when Merric stumbled into their tent. Duke Baird was on his feet first, hands already glowing a deep emerald green:

"Sit down lad, here that's it, just lay your head back."

Evelyn cursed quietly; her Godfather was in a right tizzy, else wise he would have noticed earlier that Merric's wounds had reopened and were slowly bleeding through his tunic. She watched as her mentor healed wounds and nodded when Merric sleepily told her of Raouls' orders. Perhaps something was finally going to be done. It was killing Duke Baird knowing that his only son and favourite nephew where deep in enemy territory with no support.

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Raoul and Lord Wyldon looked up when the two healers brushed the tent opening aside and wandered in. Wyldon nodded to Baird and then scowled at the girl who followed. She was simply dressed in that cream healers robe and as much as he hated to admit it the shorter hair style suited her, tendrils framed her face and the side fringe swept over and above her eyes giving her an enthral like appearance. He noticed that the cut she had sustained to her cheek was still slightly pink; it contrasted sharply with the creamy white of her skin.

As if knowing that his eyes were on her she turned to acknowledge him and curtseyed slightly, a smile flickering over her lips. He knew he should reprimand her but there were more important matters to discuss and she wasn't going anywhere, he could think of a suitable punishment for her disobedience later.

Raoul and Baird noticed the exchange and raised their eyebrows in silent communication at each other, both knew that Evelyn's actions had saved many lives, and equally both knew that Wlydon was going to give her hell for it.

Raoul cleared his throat, while the exchange had temporally lifted his spirits he wanted to get moving. "Duke Baird, Evelyn as you are both aware Sir Merric returned today with a large group of refugees. The thing is that if estimates are to be believed, then Kel and her group should be approaching the Vassa within the next couple of days; tomorrow around dawn seems the most likely…"

As he trailed off Wlydon picked up the tale: "If the Lady Knight returns, we _will_ be there with a welcoming party."

As he too petered off Evelyn could practically feel the tension building in the room. Then Duke Baird spoke up, voicing the very question that her mind seemed to be screaming: "And if not…?"

Wlydon glanced at the burly knight Commander seated beside him, "Then we, including Lady Evelyn and yourself your Grace, will be going back to our assigned forts. There's nothing more we can do."

Evelyn froze in her seat, all thoughts stopping suddenly. They really thought there was a possibility that Dom and Kel and Neal and all their companions might be dead, their bodies strewn across a bitter foreign land. Her heart constricted painfully in her chest and it was all she could do to draw in breath. "No!"

"Evelyn" Raoul tried to caution her, but his eyes told of his own pain. Wlydon stood stiffly, I suggest you get packed; two squads of the Own will be accompanying us to the camp. We'll leave in 2 bells time..." With that he strode out, but his normally straight shoulders seemed slumped as though they carried the weight of the world.

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As dusk fell Raoul came to sit beside his goddaughter. He hadn't had a chance to see her alone since before the battle, although he'd heard she'd done well, keeping her head despite the death and carnage that was all around. It had been stupid of her to dress as a man in order to get to the battle, but then he supposed that was what Alanna had done all those years ago…

It wasn't that he didn't care about her; Mithros knew he cared deeply; had been scared stiff he wouldn't see her again; it was just that Kel was in far more danger. He was terrified for her, if Domitan had let any harm come to her…

And there was another problem, Dom, that young sergeant had a rare gift, his men would follow his orders blindly to death and beyond. He couldn't afford to lose a man as good as that, as likeable as that, gods be dammed he was almost as worried about Dom as he was about Kel…

Evelyn stared at the cracking fire; the flames seemed to jump and try to lick the sky. She just wished there was more talk, when she'd sat at camp fires before she'd been surrounded by banter and laughter. Now it was a repressive silence that she had no energy to try to break. Her heart had frozen solid, she felt nothing. If she ever saw Dom again she'd kill him herself, they were worst enemies, but he was meant to at least say goodbye. He hadn't had a chance before; he'd just rushed into the infirmary and grabbed a stack of supplies and then dashed out the door. By the time she'd healed the soldiers collapsed lung the squad had gone.

She was aware that Raoul had sat down beside her, but had simply stared blindly into the leaping fire. Wlydon and Duke Baird were on a log opposite but neither of them had uttered a word either. The two squads of the Own, (Aiden's and Balim's) sat in silence as well; everyone was lost in their own thoughts. The rescue party should return tomorrow, the question on everyone's minds was who would come back, indeed, would any come back…

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Dom was exhausted; there was simply no other way to put it. Every bone in his body was tired and his brain was barely functioning. None of that was anything compared to the weight in his chest though, he hated losing men with a passion that knew no bounds, and to lose both Fulcher and Lofren was huge. His commanding side knew that with the odds they'd had to only lose two was a remarkable feat, but that side was dormant as he watched the Vassa's mighty current tear at the boat.

Raising his head he saw Kel staring straight ahead of her, face ashen in the dawn light. He strolled over to where she stood, and slung a casual arm around her shoulder, "It's going to be fine, you'll be hailed as a hero, Oh Protector of the Small".

He was rewarded by the ghost of a smile, but still her eyes remained fixed ahead. Following her gaze he drew in a gasp as he saw a bundle of tents and stick like figures furthermore at the top of one tents the Tortallen flag cracked in the wind, it could only be the welcoming party. An overheard comment from Wolset sent ice though him, while they'd been away there'd been that battle. It was clear that Tortall had won, but at what cost? Just who was left to wait for him on the bank…?

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As usual reviews would be great, si vous plait 


	15. Chapter 15

She was going to be sick; there was no doubt in her mind as she dashed past the scowling Wlydon and behind the conveniently placed tent

Heya, well here goes another chapter on this merry little venture of mine…Pretty Please Review, they make my day. 

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Standing amidst the men and tents on the bank of the swirling Vassa, the morning mist churning in the non existent breeze and the sun just rising, it was with a terrible certainty that Evelyn realised that she was going to be sick. She could feel her stomach as it started to heave, rebelling against all she had seen and endured over the past month. She desperately tried to back away from the congregation of men and practically fled behind one of the tents where her meagre breakfast came up with a relish, leaving her throat burning.

As she wiped tendrils of hair away from her face she slumped down against the nearest support, bringing breech clad legs up to her chest and hugging them to her. It had been the first sight of the boat silhouetted against the morning sun that had tipped the balance. She'd risen well before dawn and had spent her time staring at the river, giving her over active imagination plenty of time to imagine a world of horrors; she needed to know what had happened to her boys and Kel.

She simply couldn't take it anymore, how was it that men like Dom coped, knowing that every time their friends and comrades left the fort they may never come back? And yet this time it was her that was waiting, and Dom and the boys that might never return, to say nothing of Neal who had a frantic fiancé and father awaiting his homecoming.

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Duke Baird rounded the corner and felt a tug at his heart. There she was huddled against a pile of tent supports looking just like a small lost child, nothing like the royal duchess and red robed healer that she really was. He stepped carefully over and sitting on the cold ground put a fatherly arm around her, drawing her head onto his shoulder.

"How do you deal with it? Make it go away? I'm crumbling and I don't even like him…"

It took Baird a couple of seconds to decipher her words as they were mumbled into his shoulder and when he did the briefest of smiles tugged around the corners of his mouth and the deep lines around his eyes seemed to lighten. He'd seen the fierce arguments between the pair and it was nice to know that deep down, when it came down to the wire she cared. Pity Dom would probably never know…

He was snapped out of his musings by a bright pair of green eyes fixed on his face with such an intensity he suddenly felt as though she could see straight to his soul. She was close to breaking, desperately clutching for some safety line to cling to, some shred of hope in what appeared to be a hopeless case. The problem was he had none to give, would have no more cheer if his only remaining son and nephew didn't disembark off that ship. Taking a deep breath he tried to give her courage…

"I can't make it all go away;" He paused and thought for a couple of seconds before continuing: "But even if he doesn't get off that boat others will. Others that will be in need of you and it is up to you to ensure that they live. You have to think of it as 'he gave his tomorrows for their todays' make sure they have a chance. It's what all those who went on that mission wanted."

Evelyn thought over his words, the fear was still there buried deep in her stomach like a barb, but the blind panic and despair was abating, and being replaced by strong feelings of determination. She would live for those who couldn't, and no matter who came off that boat she'd be there with a smile and a comforting hand. Besides people only really died when they were forgotten by their friends – and she'd be dammed sure that she would never forget. Squaring her shoulders and straightening her mused tunic she stood and offered a hand to Duke Baird, he in turn raised a questioning eyebrow at her, a trait his son had adopted.

"Well your grace, I believe those refugees will need us…" He took the proffered hand and let her pull him to his feet. It was ironic really, he'd come to offer comfort and had ended up receiving some. As he walked side by side with the young healer he offered up one last fraught prayer, 'mother goddess please let my boys be home safe, please have spared Nealan and Domitan….'

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Dom was wide awake and alert as the little boat ground against the Tortallan shoreline. Every nerve was strained, he couldn't imagine that anything had happened to Lord Raoul, the other members of the Own would never let harm come to them whilst there was breath left in their bodies. But what about his other friends; how many of them were left standing? Evelyn had better have done a good job of healing them or he'd never forgive her.

It suddenly hit him like a bolt from the blue – Evelyn. He'd never considered the possibility that her name would be among the lists of the glorious dead, it did now though and left his mouth bone dry. There were certain things in life that couldn't happen and her dying was one of them. He'd never felt fear like it as when he'd seen her lifeless body draped across Raouls arms…

A movement to the left snapped him out of his mood; there was Kel, wonderful, dependable and beautiful Kel. He was fairly confident that her fears about traitor's hill were unfounded, she was after all a hero, and ballads would be sung about her for years to come…

What did it matter how Evelyn was when Kel was beside him? Court ladies were two-a-penny, and he could always squabble with Neal. The only thing was she'd always helped him with Kel, and he desperately needed her help now, he was pretty confident he was in love with the lady knight. A couple of deep breaths later and his heart had reached its normal rate, he'd be there for Lord Raoul as he'd be devastated if his goddaughter was gone, but it wouldn't affect him personally, she was nothing special to him.

With that in mind he gave Kels' hand a quick squeeze and murmured a Protector comment in her ear, sending shivers through her, (or was that his hopeful imagination) and earning him a dig in the ribs. Then squaring his shoulders he whistled for his remaining boys. Looking straight ahead and blocking all thoughts of healers from his mind they disembarked, practically running into a grinning Raoul….

"Sergeant Domitan, tell me these children aren't the result of your squad's Scanran frolics," as he said it his smile seemed to stretch even wider, "though I do admit that some look a little old to be yours."

Dom could feel the grin breaking out on his own face, it was good to be home, "Well, sir, my men helped…"

Raoul let out a harrumph of laughter, "I can well believe it. Now if you don't mind I think I'll have a healer look you straggly lot over."

It was Wolset that replied, "Aye Sir that would be right lovely, that way Evelyn can tell us how brave we are and how she loves us."

Dom felt his heart leap to his throat as Raouls face fell, what in the Dark Gods realms had happened to her? Surely they hadn't actually let her onto the battle field? Mithros didn't they know that she was a healer not a warrior?

Wolset had also noticed Raouls face, and his eyes seemed dim, he'd lost his best friend and now it appeared the girl that Fulcher had loved as a daughter was gone too: "My Lord, I'm so sorry, what happened?"

Raoul was shocked by the looks on the squad's faces, where thirty seconds ago they had been battered and bruised but grinning; now they looked shadows of their former selves. Dom appeared white and shocked while pain was practically radiating off Wolset, the rest looked like a safety blanket had been stripped from around them, and he could have sworn that he'd seen a tear in Dimitri's eye.

"What do you mean what happened? We smashed one of King Maggots little armies to pieces…" He was interrupted by Dom's broken voice, "No sir, we mean what happened to Evelyn, how did she die?"

"Die!?" He was momentarily speechless, so this was what the looks had been about, "She didn't die, in fact she's over there healing Sir Nealan and company. I imagine she'll be coming over to look at you in a minute."

As one 9 heads swivelled in the direction he had gestured. Dom couldn't believe his eyes, there holding Kels' arm was Evelyn or what he presumed was Evelyn, what had she done to her hair? Not that he was complaining, now she could help him win said Lady Knight…

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Evelyn finished healing Kel's wound and gave the Knight a hug, "It's good to have you home!"

Kel grinned wryly, "It's good to be back, but what are you doing here? I thought you were in Carthak, surely I heard you were Princess Kalasin's maid of honour?"

Evelyn raised a delicate eyebrow, "didn't any of the Own mention it?" At Kel's look of confusion she continued, "Well I've been assigned as the Own's chief healer; I've been here just over a month. And yes, I am meant to be the maid of honour, but it isn't until next spring so I might still make it, Goddess knows your defeat of Balyce might be what tips the balance of this god forsaken war."

Kel turned a dusty pink, "I didn't really do that much…" At Evelyn's snort of disbelief she changed the subject, "Ahh I see what you mean, every one of that Squad is staring at you like you're back from the dead…"

Evelyn glanced over at them and gave a little wave, (it was more a flutter of the finger tips) while simultaneously batting her eyelashes at them, at their shocked faces she let out a peal of golden laughter. Giving Kel one last hug she started to make her way towards the men she'd thought she'd never see again…

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I know nothing much happened here, but I just wanted to make it clear what the various characters feel about each other. Kel should feature much more in future chapters…

Review please, it'll only take 30 seconds of your time, but will make this girl very happy…


	16. Chapter 16

Dom rolled over onto his back and stared blindly at the stars that twinkled merrily above him

HAPPY ST PADDY'S DAY!

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Dom rolled over onto his back and stared blindly at the stars that twinkled merrily above him. He was comfortable, his bedroll was placed carefully amongst soft heather, but sleep was eluding him. A sigh escaped his lips; if he was honest he knew exactly why he couldn't drift off into slumber, despite the exhaustion that plagued him. As he shifted slightly he thought back to the check up they'd had with the healer that morning…

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_Flashback_

Evelyn had floated over to them looking like an imp, her hair had been cut, its shorter length causing it to curl slightly, though it was currently tucked behind her ears and her eyes seemed like sparkling emeralds with a life of their own. She had pranced over to Wolset and, after seeing his watery smile grabbed him into a bear hug, bestowing a kiss on each cheek.

Wolset himself had gone into shock, simultaneously managing to blush and turn pale. He'd voiced the question on everyone's minds: "What was that for?" Then he'd ruined the moment by breaking into nonsensical blabber; "Not that I mind, don't get me wrong, twas lovely, and I'm not complaining…" At this the others had added crass comments and whistled, "It's just that I'm a commoner and you're a Duchess and all… and what did I do?"

She must have been in a flirty mood Dom mused for she had laughed that twinkling laugh of hers and gone around each man in turn and kissed them on the cheek. Each man that was except him, he'd only received the briefest of hugs, if you could call it that for her arms had barely touched him before she'd withdrawn, giving nothing more other then a soul searching look and it had been she that'd blushed, not he. It was that which was annoying him now, why had she treated him differently, what was it she'd seen in his eyes that had made her turn away?

Rolling over once again he closed his eyes and tried with all his might to drift off. As his luck would have it some poor refugee was having difficultly breathing close-by the Own's selected sleeping ground and every single time the weary Sergeant closed his eyes he could hear this mans raspy breath. Finally he could take it no more! He'd go and get his Uncle Baird and get this unfortunate man healed. Just then, as if answering his unuttered prayers there was a whisper of fabric moving over grass and the low gentle sound of a female's voice murmuring soothing platitudes.

Dom propped himself up on his elbows and watched silently as Evelyn, dressed in an emerald green silken robe crouched at the elderly mans side, her hands glowing a pearly green.

He frowned, by rights and in normal circumstances he would be thinking how terribly impractical a robe such as that was, now however he was strangely fixated on how it flowed over her body, with the matching tie looped loosely around her waist. He shook his head to clear it of its ridiculous thoughts and the movement attracted her attention for suddenly her eyes were flickering over the sleeping soldiers until they met with his sapphire ones.

She looked away quickly, and having finished healing stood and moved off checking men, women and children as she moved along the people. More then one trembling hand grasped her skirt as she passed, and not all of them belonged to the young. As she reached the banks of the river she disappeared, apparently having sat down. Dom could take it no more, he couldn't sleep and she was just 100 yards away… Before he'd fully processed his plan he was up on his feet and threading his way amongst the refugees and his comrades.

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Evelyn breathed a gentle sign of relief and lay down stretching her feet out, easing the cramps that had been spreading from her calves up to her thighs. She'd never been so relieved to see Dom, ever! And yet when presented with him, alive, real and solid right in front of her, she'd been completely lost. Suddenly she'd wanted to run, run and never look back. It had been the same when she'd seen his sapphire eyes watching her in the dark; he was Kels' that was what kept rushing through her mind, and for the first time that knowledge hurt her…

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Dom dropped silently down the grass verge onto the rivers banks, here reeds were growing and mixed among them were the pale white flowers of cotton plants. His eyes scanned until he found a hollow, then his breath caught in his throat. There bathing in the peaceful moonlight was the bane of his existence, except that just at that moment in time she had ceased to be anything other then beautiful. If someone had told him she was a spirit, a mere figment made of mist and moonlight he would have believed them… He had to force suddenly heavy feet onwards until reaching her side he dropped down beside her, causing her eyes to fly wide open in terror…

"Mithros Dom! You scared me." She scrambled up until she was sitting straight, her knees pulled up to her chest, her slim arms wrapped around them.

"Evelyn…" He trailed off and she raised an eyebrow at him. "You've been spending far too much time with Neal, your starting to pick up on his mannerisms." She snorted at that and gave him a gentle shove, "In case you hadn't noticed Sergeant it's _you _that I've been spending time with." He was amused to notice that she was blushing a curious shade of pink as she finished.

"Well in that case I shall have to talk to you about stealing my quirky charming looks" he could feel himself smiling but his eyes were serious, he still had to ask her what was going on. She flashed a small smile at him that seemed to convey a type of disquiet that unnerved him slightly. He could think of nothing to say that wasn't too blunt and as she didn't try to chatter a comfortable silence settled over them.

All at once he could bear it no longer, "Evelyn why didn't I get my kiss?" He cringed; that was not how it had meant to sound, he'd wanted to convey a thousand things to her and instead he'd sounded like a spoilt child that had been denied its favourite treat. Where was his wit when he needed it the most?

Evelyn froze as though ice water had been poured over her and frozen her very core, 'Why hadn't he gotten his kiss..?' Of all the questions she'd been expecting that hadn't been it. Unconsciously her tongue darted out and licked her abruptly dry lips, a move that sent shivers down Doms' spine.

"I…" It seemed like a flash of brilliance at the time, though even as she shimmed closer her mind was screaming at her…

Dom watched her move closer and instinctively did the same. Emerald eyes meet sapphire that were mere inches apart and his eyes were drawn to her lips which were shimmering in the moonlight. She glanced up briefly and something in her mind snapped. Her hand came up to his neck and her lips found his, albeit gently but she lingered too long for it just to be a friendly peck.

She drew back slightly, her heart was pounding like an entire band of war drums and she prayed he couldn't hear it, "Amm a kiss, you said you wanted you kis…"

She was cut off abruptly by his mouth claiming hers, one of his arms curling possessively around her waist while the other absently stroked her arm. Then all her attention was back on his mouth as she felt him nip ever so gently at her lower lip, as she gasped his tongue took the opportunity to enter her mouth and hers eagerly joined it, as they duelled in that famous dance of lovers…

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Nealen was paralyzed in shock, Kel was only a couple of feet behind him talking to a sleepy Loey and his bloody cousin was down there among the swaying reeds and rushing noise of the flowing water kissing Evelyn like his life depended on it! Glancing behind him to make sure Kel was well occupied he stormed down and kicked his errant cousin sharply in the ribs…

"What the hell are you playing at!?" While his voice was a mere whisper there was that much venom in it that Evelyn shrank back, only Doms strong arms around her gave her the courage to meet Neal's' eyes, eyes that were normally so friendly that were now like hard blazing rocks.

"Kel is just up there and I find you in the process of tumbling some bloody court whore!" The guilty couple had got to their feet but still Dom kept his arms around Evelyn's waist.

At the sound of Kel's name Doms eyes flew up in the direction of the bank, and his hold on Evelyn appeared to loosen slightly. He didn't even notice that he'd done anything and opened his mouth to attack his cousin who had so obviously hurt Evelyn, why only he was allowed to call her a bloody court lady! Evelyn however had noticed and it was as though a sword had been driven through her heart, Kel, how could she have forgotten Kel, why only this morning she'd seen the love for her shining in Dom's eyes. It had all been a dream, only a dream…

Neal was completely taken aback by Doms sudden attack on him, but he didn't fail to notice the sudden despair that filled his fellow healer's eyes when Dom had glanced in Kel's general direction. A jigsaw of pieces clicked together in his mind, "Great Mother Goddess…"

Dom seemed to get even angrier at his cousins half mutter: "Nealen! I appreciate that you are cross at the minute but that's between you and me. There is no need no drag Evelyn into this, she's done nothing wrong!"

As the two cousins bickered, each one outraged at the other Evelyn slipped from Doms now loose hold and cleared her throat, "I'm so sorry, Sir Nealen this had nothing to do with Sergeant Domitan here, I kissed him, it was my entire fault. I know he loves Kel, why anyone with eyes could see it…"

At this she was interrupted by Kel's musical voice, "Anyone could see what?" A slow smile had spread across the knight's face and her even hazel gaze seemed to be falling on each of the three equally, and while it had been posed as a question anyone with ears could tell that the realms second lady knight wasn't leaving without an answer.

Evelyn looked at her friend and released with a pang she could never compete, it was time to finish what she'd started years ago when Kel was only a Squire but had never completed for reasons that had only suddenly become clear to her…

"Lady Kel it is as obvious as this river before us, Sergeant Domitan is in love with you, and has been for years. When he thought you'd been injured I've never seen him turn so pale or try and make his horse run so fast to get to you…"

Kel opened her mouth to say something but ended up gaping like a fish as Evelyn held up a hand, "Let me finish, now I've started I may as well say my piece."

Dom had frozen when she'd started but now couldn't take his eyes off Kel, just what was Evelyn playing at? He soon found out as she took a deep breath and continued,

"Dom Kel has been besotted with you since you first handed her that sausage and cheese turnover on her first day as a squire. It's time you stopped dancing around each other and did something."

Neal was the only one to catch the slight break in her voice and notice the tremble of her hands. Kel had blushed to the roots of her hair and Dom appeared to be in shock although Neal found it curious that when his eyes should have been entirely focused on Kel he'd glanced Evelyn's direction at least twice. Perhaps it was because she looked so thoroughly kissed, with her lips slightly swollen and her dressed creased at the waist where his hand had been.

It was her eyes that confirmed his suspicions, they didn't look like the eyes of a girl who'd just helped to join together two wonderful people, they looked like the tired eyes of someone who has just lost something precious to them. He tried to feel sorry for her, but then Kel was his best friend, in his opinion the best knight had won…

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Hours later when Dom and Kel had wandered off Mithros knows where together and Neal had gone his way to, (not without giving her some sympathetic looks) Evelyn sat back down on the grass to watch the sunrise. She bought a finger up to touch her lip, when she closed her eyes she could feel his mouth on hers, could feel his heartbeat against her own. The only problem was when she reopened her eyes she was on her own.

It was strange she couldn't pinpoint when exactly she'd begun to cry and yet the tears were streaming silently down her cheeks. Only 12 hours ago she would have given anything to see him again, and now she would give anything never to see him again. Funny how unfair life can be…

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She sat there until the sharp breeze had dried the tears on her checks and Raoul came to find her. He had seen the happiness shinning between his former squire and his favourite sergeant and had wondered why his goddaughter wasn't there sharing in their joy. Then he'd met with Nealen and it had all become clear. Now as he faced her he offered her no pity, only a fatherly hug.

It was what she needed and squaring her chin she'd tied to give him her trademark dimpled grin, it was a pathetic attempt… Still when the camp broke later that day her smile was fixed in place and no one but Neal, Raoul and possibly Dom would ever have guessed anything was wrong…

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Well what do you think, I appreciate many of you are Kel / Dom lovers but still please _please_ leave a review… xxx


	17. Chapter 17

Dom felt sick; there was no other way to put it

Well here we go again, another chapter…

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Dom felt sick; there was no other way to put it. A type of sick that no black robed healer in the land could heal. As he rode alongside Kel a ball of guilt seemed to be devouring him from the inside out.

He offered _his _lady knight a smile, (Mithros he couldn't believe how lucky he was, the girl he worshipped actually liked him back) and dropped back so he could ride with his cousin for a while. Perhaps Neal would be able to answer his questions.

Neal in turn was watching three people with a hawk like gaze. There was Dom and Kel riding slightly ahead of him, Kel had never looked prettier; she was dressed in a powder blue tunic and soft grey breeches with calf skin boots. Her laughter frequently travelled back along the convoy and her eyes twinkled merrily. Dom it seemed couldn't tear his eyes off her and a smile constantly played around his mouth. Every now and again though a pained shadow would flicker across his face and his eyes would cloud over.

The third person could not be said to be looking so well. Evelyn was riding in the bullock cart just behind him helping the extremely ill, the elderly and the young. Her smile was, to his eyes, obviously forced and her eyes appeared dull and lifeless, but when he'd tried to bring the topic up with the healer she'd said she was 'tired' and couldn't be expected to look like a butterfly everyday.

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"Neal, I need to ask you a question." Dom's voice cut through his cousins musings and drew his attention back to the present.

"Ahh, it has finally happened, my errant slightly older cousin has realised that he needs my brilliance and has come to inquire after a piece of my wisdom!" Neal was grinning, he and Dom my have their arguments but they were like brothers. It felt good to be able to talk without the imminent threat of death hanging over them…

"Alas oh wise one, I fear this is a problem that will wipe the silly looking grin off your face and resort you to common insults." Dom pulled his players speech off flamboyantly and the cousins witty banter was enough to make all those around them laugh. Then he sobered up, "Seriously Neal I really do need your advice…"

Dom's serious attitude sobered his cousin up instantly, he only hoped it was a question he had a definite answer to, he rained in Magewhisper and gave Dom what he hoped was a reassuring smile, "Off course, ask away, you know I'll help…"

"As you know I have a reputation as being the courts resident flirt and ladies man…" At Neal snort of amusement he raised an eyebrow and pulled a face, "Do try and stay focused, I'm getting to the point!" Neal outright laughed at this, "Dom talk about understatement, as much as it pains me to admit it _you_ _are_ the courts most eligible bachelor, the ladies run after you in droves!"

Dom chose to ignore his cousins remarks, the only answer being the slow returning of the twinkle in his eyes, Mithros he had missed just being able to talk with no real pressure, "You saw what happened last night at the river bank, Evelyn and I don't get along and yet when the possibility occurred to me that she might be dead I was terrified, I mean truly scared." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I've been so horrible and cranky recently, in fact I've done everything I can think of to drive her away, even in my own head, but she's always there…"

Neal looked at his 'brother' in silence for a few moments, "Mithros knows it is legendry how you pair don't get along, but somehow I always thought that underneath it all the pair of you were friends."

Dom mused over Neal's words, he remembered all the times he tried to outwit the pretty court girl, the games he'd played to hear her scream, stories he'd told to impress her and pranks he'd played to outmanoeuvre her. He had counted her as a friend, a fact that surprised him as it hadn't occurred to him until Neal had mentioned it. But that had all been over a year ago and a lot of things had happened since then. Mainly, in his opinion he'd treated her badly and she'd grown up. That brought him back to the question that was torturing him…

"Neal, how do you know if you're in love? Not the kind of love you have for a nice hot palace bath but the forever kind?" Neal's eyes widened, of all the questions he'd been mentally preparing for this hadn't been it: "Hmm, well I think love is when you give another person your heart, _really_ give them the power to destroy it, you and still trust that they won't."

Dom nodded, "I'm pretty confident that I'm in love with Kel, I'd do absolutely anything for her. It's just that last night, when I was kissing Evelyn it felt so right, like I'd come home."

Neal knew with a blind certainty that he had to quash his cousins fears or Kel would end up hurt, "You probably only kissed Evelyn because she was a court lady, and you didn't think Kel would ever return your feelings, you would have kissed anyone last night."

Dom laughed, a deep baritone sound causing various people to look back at the two cousins, "Good to know you think I'd kiss anyone available! I feel so guilty though, no matter what anyone thinks I don't go around braking hearts deliberately and I wouldn't hurt Evelyn for anything, I need her to keep me sane."

Neal gulped, it was time for some artistic licence, "She probably felt nothing, after all she is widely known as the prettiest lady at court, and on top of all that she is Tortall's third princess. No matter what she wants she will make a marriage of political convenience, you never know, she might be a queen one day…" He decided not to mention that it had looked like she'd had her heart broken last night, Kel and Dom were perfect for each other, and Evelyn would eventually find someone else…

Dom smiled, I'd never thought about it like that, thank Mithros, I really rely on her, she's going to have to put up with me when Kel leaves, I don't know how I'm going to cope!" Neal spared the bullock cart the briefest of glances; Dom noticed his gaze and raised the trademark eyebrow, waiting for Neal to notice him again. When Neal did turn back he was met with Dom' curious blue gaze, "Meathead, dare I ask why you were looking at that bullock cart with pity?" Neal stuttered in mock outrage, "Don't call me that name, besides its 'Sir Meathead!' And no it is better if you don't ask…"

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Raoul glanced back over his shoulder, both he and Lord Wlydon were riding at the head of the procession, and had up until a point been discussing the somewhat pressing matter of his and Buri's wedding. Then it had occurred to him that Kalasin was getting married in the spring and that her chief bridesmaid was here, somewhere in the long line of refugees. Something was going to have to be done about that, he only hoped the war was over by then.

While his glance failed to find Evelyn, (she had exhausted herself, both physically and emotionally and had fallen asleep among the rags in the cart) he did see Masbolle and Queenscove sitting stationary at the side of the procession, "Sergeant! Sir Nealen! Unless you want to be on latrine duty for the next fortnight in your respective forts I suggest you get back in line!"

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A lot of people don't seem to like Dom in this, I didn't really like the way my writing was portraying him, he really is a lovely guy, just confused about his feelings and under a lot of stress, after all he does have the responsibility of 10 other men's lives in his hands! This chapter was mainly trying to show that he still is the Dom that we all know and love, (hope it worked…)

Well you know the drill please leave a review, it'll only take a second…


	18. Chapter 18

The week of the wedding dawned with a crisp frost that seemed to cover the entire fort with a white frosting

Reviews would be much appreciated, think of them as an Easter present…

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The week of the wedding dawned with a crisp frost that seemed to cover the entire fort with a white frosting. Evelyn rubbed her hands together briskly to try and get that extra bit of heat and taking a deep breath opened her door and sprinted across the yard for the mess hall.

She arrived in a flurry of chilly air that made the men at the table nearest the door groan in mock despair and caused her to pull faces at them. Raoul looked up from his table at the disturbance and smiled, she was getting prettier with every passing day, now for example her cheeks had a healthy flush on them from the cold and her hair was lying in wisps about her face, the plait it had been restrained in coming loose.

As she danced over to the servers he wondered just why she was in such good form, not that she'd been cranky, it was just in the 4 months it had been from the refugee rescue she'd not really smiled much at all, or laughed, or been involved in any pranks that he knew of. With a loose shrug he returned his full attention to the hot steaming bowl of lightly spiced porridge in front of him, if she was finally laughing again then he wasn't going to complain…

As Evelyn threaded her way among the tables full of men dressed in the royal blue and silver of the King's Own she felt a hand snake around her waist and pull her onto his knee. As she looked around she was met by the laughing chocolate eyes of Sergeant Aidan,

"The boys and I have decided that it isn't fair Sergeant Domitan's squad hog you." As he finished he gave her a conspiratorial wink and his squad laughed. Evelyn's eyes began to twinkle brighter then any star, "Well in that case I shall just have to eat here this morning won't I?"

"That's the girl!" and "We knew you'd catch on quick!" Were some of the comments directed at her from the squad. Pretty as a picture she set her tray down on the table and began to eat slowly, frequently being interrupted by questions and comments from the friendly lads that made up the 10 man squad.

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Wolset was the first to enter the mess with a lot of pushing and shoving from the men behind him, not least his sergeant, "Corporal if you don't get your backside through that door in the next 30 seconds I **will** put you on latrine duty!"

Wolset still didn't move, he wasn't overly concerned about Dom's threat; after-all the sergeant had had laughter in his voice. What had caused him to freeze in his tracks was the sight of Evelyn sitting on Sergeant Aidan's knee eating breakfast; it looked like the entire squad was flirting with her, and she wasn't trying to stop them, why Aidan had his hand resting around her waist!

Dom finally pushed his way to the front of the squad; he could swear his fingers and lips had turned blue. Wolset he was amused to notice though was turning a blotchy shade of red and a vein appeared to be throbbing in his neck. A quick glance showed him that the other members of his squad who had made it indoors were all looking in the one direction and all appeared to be in the same stages of outrage.

His internal amusement was cut short by Sergeant Osborn's voice as it shouted merrily across the packed mess, "Well would you look at that boys, Sergeant Dom and his squad have lost their favourite healer! How'd you manage that Aidan!?"

There was a roar of laughter from the men, "Me and the boys promised to treat her nicely! Not drop buckets of mud on her like a certain other squad we know!"

Dom froze in his tracks and his previously twinkling blue eyes scanned the crowd for Evelyn. When he found her he stared, just like his men, he and Aidan got along really well, but he'd have quite happily cut the arm off that was currently draped around Evelyn's waist. Why not even he got to hold her like that: (the time on the banks of the Vassa didn't count, he'd explained to her how sorry he was and that it would never happen again. Things had almost returned to normal.)

"Aidan you bloody thief! This is war you realise?!" Dom and his boys had recovered their senses and were approaching the table. As they passed the servers Dom gently relieved them of the big pot of porridge and ladle. Aidan, his squad were calling insults to the 'loosing squad' while Evelyn was demurely eating her meal, the only sign of her amusement being the sparkle in her eyes and the dimples that kept appearing at her cheeks.

With a war cry the squad attacked, Wolset tackling his fellow corporal off the bench and proceeding to poor his own breakfast down his tunic, other members of the squad were doing the same to their various counterparts, Dom meanwhile was standing directly behind Aidan with the ladle hovering above his head, "Sergeant I suggest you release the fair maiden before my boys and I are forced to play dirty…"

"Alas Domitan I find that my hands are glued to her waist, it is destiny! Nothing can part us!" He muttered something Dom could distinguish in her ear and then placed a kiss on it, her cheek and finally a light one on her lips.

"Why you son of a stormwing!" Dom launched himself at Aidan just as the Lioness entered the mess along with Buri, Yuki and Lalassa. Porridge flew everywhere as the two sergeants wrestled, other squads forming a ring around the scene as Osborn set up a betting pool. Flydan and Raoul were laughing till tears streamed down their faces and neither of them noticed that they had guests…

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Evelyn was the first to notice and when she did she let out a cry of joy before flying across the room and flinging herself at the short redhead with cries of "Aunty Alanna!" The women in question was staring at the most feared soldiers in the kings army as they wrestled, their commanders incapacitated by tears.

Buri had had enough, the tiny kimri picked her way though the men, causing those that had seen her to fall silent, until she was standing behind Raoul, announcing in a loud voice, "Never again will I believe you when you say the Own are better behaved then the Riders, it is clear we are far better disciplined!"

"Buri!" Raoul turned and swept the women he loved up into a bear hug, spinning her in circles until she laughingly demanded that he put her down, which he did, but not without a deep kiss, earning wolf whistles from the watching crowd and "well boys I believe you owe me 10 crowns, told you they'd kiss!" That last was from porridge splattered Dom.

Yuki stormed up to her soon to be cousin-in-law, "Domitan!" Fresh laughter broke out as the tall sergeant cowered at the no nonsense tone of the diminutive Yamani's voice. "Yes…" He tried one of his grins on her but she stood firm, "Go and get that mess off! Really you act more like a baby then Neal!"

Dom tottered backwards his hand over his heart, "Fair cousin you have mortally wounded me, your tongue has barbs, I don't know how…" With a dramatic stagger he fell neatly into Lerant's arms.

Everyone was struggling not to laugh again; even Alanna was trying desperately to hide her smile behind her hands. Yuki however was unimpressed, "Domitan, you are the best man! I need you to have a robe fitting! So go now!"

With a smooth movement Dom was back on his feet, "Certainly fair lady." He gave a whistle and his squad fell into place behind him, "Boys while I'm enduring torture for the good of the Meathead," (he dodged the fan than Yuki tried to hit him with, "you lucky lot can be running drills."

Instead of heading straight for the door however he veered off and approached the watching group of women, he bowed to Alanna and Lalassa and in the processes swept Evelyn off her feet. "Dom put me down! Dom" His only response was to laugh and carry her to the door, as the squad filed put behind them Wolset paused, "Get your own healer! This one is ours!" He had to close the door in a hurry as an outraged porridge covered squad charged at him…

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Evelyn leaned against the wall for support; suddenly she didn't feel the cold, only the ache that was her heart. Dom had twirled her before putting her down; he'd tweaked her nose and begged her not to go scaring him and the boys like that again, that it would get tiring if they had to fight for her every morning. She wished she could believe that he would, but in a couple of days Kel would be here and she would be forgotten. Then she could kiss anyone in public and he wouldn't bat an eye…

Alanna rounded the corner in search of her goddaughter, she found her slumped against the wall, her face filled with pain and despair. It tore at her heart to see Evelyn like this so she gathered her into her arms and muttered soothing things,

"Just think, if it gets too hard this week all you have to do is focus on the fact that in 3 weeks you will be leaving for Carthak to be bridesmaid to the Empress herself."

Lerant stood stock still behind the wall; he had been sent to fetch the canteens of water and had happened to overhear the Lioness and Evelyn. Why was their healer so upset? And surely it couldn't mean what he thought, why if she was leaving in three weeks she'd be gone all winter! To the black god's realm with drills, this was important, Dom's squad needed to know!

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Well what did you all think? Review and let me know…

HAPPY EASTER 


	19. Chapter 19

Dom was whistling as he rounded the corner heading to the practice courts, sword in hand

Disclaimer – None of the characters or places you recognise belong to me, they are all Tamora Pierce's. I just borrow them.

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Dom was whistling as he rounded the corner heading to the practice courts, sword in hand. The fittings had, as he suspected been torture but now he was free of them all was right with his world. Kel and Meathead would be arriving in the morning; gods how he'd missed Kel, missed her slow smile, her gleaming hazel eyes, the way her long eyelashes swept over her check and most of all he missed simply talking to her. It would be wonderful to chat without the threat of death hanging over them…

He had a wonderful plan for Meathead too; all he needed was to keep Yuki occupied and Evelyn to help. He was completely absorbed by his internal musings, so engrossed that he failed to notice his squad coming towards them until they ran straight into him.

"Mithros Wolset _and_ Lerant!" He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, the irritable standard bearer didn't normally hang around with his squad; he claimed they were too much trouble, "Where on earth are you lot off to? I thought you were doing drills…"

While Dom may normally be his squads best friend he was responsible for their lives and therefore took practice very seriously. The men needed to come up with an answer fast or he would turn them about and quick march them straight back to the courts…

"Well Sir it's just that a piece of information recently flittered its way to us and we felt it was vitally important that we checked it out as soon as possible." While it had been Wolset that spoke the rest of the squad were nodding in agreement, it was really quite the comical sight Dom mused; besides he needed their help, "So where exactly were you going?"

They were saved from answering by the timely arrival of Evelyn; she looked curiously at the line of men standing in front of their sergeant, all of whom appeared to be trying to catch her eye. "Is there something I should know about?"

Dom looked between his men and his healer, before declaring despairingly, "Please don't tell me we've all fallen out again, I really need your help with a master plan!"

Evelyn laughed, "Not unless they're still huffing that I ate breakfast in the only available seat." The men had in fact forgotten about that in the sight of the more disturbing news but now they'd been reminded directed glares towards the barracks where they knew Aiden and his lads were relaxing. Evelyn smiled, she liked Aiden's squad, but they could never compete with Dom's. "As to the '_master plan' _how exactly do you need my help..?"

It had taken a while but Giles the newly promoted corporal finally caught on, "Does this have anything to do with Sir Nealen's arrival?" Dom's grin seemed to stretch from ear to ear, "Well now you mention my dear cousin I was thinking we should really have a welcoming committee for him, say just around the bend?"

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Evelyn couldn't believe she'd agreed to this, it was complete and total madness and she swore if he even tried to kiss her she'd throw 50 fits and Dom had better run for his life!

Dom glanced sideways at the disguised healer, he convinced her to use her gift to create a glamour, gone was her creamy skin and emerald eyes, replaced by an almond skin tone and chestnut eyes. Her face had rice paper on and eyes were lightly outlined in kohl. In short she was the mirror image of Yuki, although her mask was a wreck, for example at this minute in time he was completely confident that if she wasn't so cold she'd throttle him.

Being the sensitive and sensible beast he was he leaned across the short distance between their two horses, "Do smile, remember this is the love of your life, the very thought of his presence is enough to keep you warm…"

Evelyn smiled and through clenched teeth muttered, "Is that why you're nice and warm, thinking of Kel?" Dom grinned easily back at her, "Well yes, there is that, and then there's the way that my tunic is nicely padded with soft fleece, unlike your ridiculously impractical silk kimono, don't know why you chose to wear that…"

Evelyn gave what could only be described as a growl and tried to launch herself at the grinning Sergeant while all around her the men laughed. Just then Wolset looked ahead and let off the warning call, "Dead ahead, Meatheads and Mothers dead ahead! Go Little Lady go!"

The glare Evelyn directed at the grinning squad would have caused lesser men to cower, these particular men just laughed and Dom actually had the nerve to make shooing movements with his hands!

Evelyn rolled her eyes and then focused on the job at hand, making a clicking noise with her tongue she urged her mare into a canter, as she moved towards the approaching group she noticed a blur detach itself and gallop towards her. 'Here goes nothing...'

As Neal reached her he swung out of the saddle and lifted her down, "Yuki my petal, my little blossom, how I've missed you! You would never guess the trials one has to put up with!" As he swung her around Evelyn desperately tried to remember the plan, she caught glimpses of the squad approaching, grins splitting their faces, so far so good…

As he moved in to kiss her she pulled back and tilted her head to the side, considering him, much like a sparrow, "Have you got a new hair style?" Neal looked at her briefly, "No my rose, not a single lock of this fine mane has been touched." Again he moved to kiss her and again she pulled back, (Gods when she got her hands on Dom he was in trouble) "Are you completely sure?"

Now Neal was confused, he gave up on trying to reach her lips and made instead for her throat, nuzzling into it and leaving a trial of kisses. Dom paused to catch his breath, he'd laughed so hard he'd given himself a stitch, now he wasn't as amused, Neal was kissing Evelyn!

The other members of the squad had all sobered up to but only briefly, they caught sight of her face, and the murder in her eyes directed at Dom. Dom himself relaxed nothing was going to change.

Just then Evelyn had had enough she pushed Neal back from her, "There's definitely nothing different?" Neal was exasperated now, "I swear nothing, what in the goddesses name is wrong with you?!"

Evelyn grinned, "It's just you're looking rather Meatheadish!" As she uttered the last word she dropped the glamour revelling her own face, Neal yelled in shock dropping his hold on her arms.

It was perhaps to his credit that it only took him seconds to recover, with a roar he launched himself at his cousin, who by this stage was crying with laughter. His next target was Evelyn, she shrieked and made for her horse, it unfortunately had lost all sense of loyalty and bolted, only Dom's quick thinking saved her from Neal's wrath, as she backed up against a tree muttering apologies he grabbed her arm and pulled her up into the saddle behind him. Then he and his squad took off, not before he'd cantered to Kel, and kissed her thoroughly though.

It was a race then, who could get to the gate first, the hysterical squad or the infuriated healer who was calling his cousin a thousand and one things, and none of them were endearments. Dom made it by about a minute, yelling for the man on watch to open the gates quickly! By the time Neal and the rest of the party arrived Dom, his boys and Evelyn had sprinted up the stairs and were safely ensconced in the barracks. It was then that the flood gates broke; tears of laughter ran down their checks, only intensified when Evelyn marched over to Dom and threw a pillow straight in his face.

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Raoul and Buri's wedding was scheduled for the next day. It dawned crisp and clear, the mess had been decorated by all the squads of the Own, September wildflowers and berries had been threaded into an archway under which the couple were to be married.

Leaves, splendid in their golden, russet and copper colours had been gathered and spread on the floor like a carpet. When Evelyn and Kel as the two bridesmaids glanced in, they were heard to remark that it looked like something out of a fairy tale.

Alanna ran into Evelyn as she was leaving Buri's room, 15 minutes before the ceremony, the older women stepped back to take in the vision that was her goddaughter, she looked stunning in her dress, it was an off the shoulder styled corset with touches of gold ivory embroidered. It had amazing bell, 'slashed' sleeves that she wore with a gold organza under sleeve. The extensive skirt was made in deep red crushed velvet. Her hair was pulled back into a golden braid that formed a crown around her head.

"You know you're not allowed to outshine the bride don't you?" Her aunt commented wryly. Evelyn laughed, I won't, I couldn't, the goddess herself couldn't, not today." Alanna gave her a look that plainly told her she thought she was mad. Just then Buri emerged from her room, she too was beautiful in a simple cream creation that seemed to flow like water over her body, it was embroidered in gold and scarlet thread depicting the tales of the four horse lords.

Buri looked from Alanna to Evelyn and laughed, "That's the problem with inviting one of two of the realms most beautiful girls to be your bridesmaid, thank the goddess that there's only one of you and that Kalasin isn't here or I'd never get a look in!"

Evelyn's protests were cut short by the arrival of the realms second lady knight, Kel was dressed in an identical dress to Evelyn, with the exception that while Evelyn's was deep red hers was a intense forest green. Her hair had been curled slightly and threaded with ribbon. She had an air of delight about her; Alanna was heard to dryly explain to the other women that she'd been to see the best man and gotten slightly carried away…

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Evelyn concentrated, right where the Mithrin priest said that famous line, 'You may now kiss the bride' was her queue. As Raoul leaned in towards his new bride she twisted her fingers in a complex pattern, pearly green ribbons of light streamed from them and twisted around the bride and groom. They caused a gentle warm breeze to ripple throughout the room, lifting Buri's hair and ruffling through Raouls.

Neal was seated beside Dom and when he saw the streamers of light couldn't help but let out an impressed huff of air. His cousin glanced to his side, "What on earth is the matter with you?" Neal didn't take his eyes off Evelyn, "What she's doing with the light, that's her gift, the powers of concentration it requires to let it off in streams and not in one blast and to concentrate it in the one area, incredible…"

Dom tore his eyes of Kel and focused then on the other bridesmaid, the one he'd been trying so hard not to notice. She looked mesmerizing, but unless he was going mad she was definitely getting paler. "Neal is it normal for her to lose colour rapidly?" His cousin spared him a sideways glance, "Of course, basically what she's doing is draining herself, it requires huge amounts of energy, if I was to try it I'd be flat on my back within seconds, she's kept that going for over a minute now."

As Raoul and Buri broke their kiss the light started to fade, before it had vanished completely though it rushed towards the newlyweds and was absorbed into their skin. Dom didn't even have to ask, Neal responded automatically, "The gift of health, it would take an incredibly strong poison or illness to have an effect on either of them now."

Alanna stepped out and grasped her goddaughter by the elbow, leading her to the front row of seats before starting to pour a little of her own violet gift into her, in an attempt to combat the exhaustion Evelyn was experiencing, it would be up to Kel to carry Buri's train on her own for a while.

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Wolset approached his sergeant at around the ninth bell, "Sir, Sir!" Dom broke off his conversation with Kel and Yuki and turned to his corporal who was looking like his favourite dog had died, "Are you ok? What's happened?" Wolset was practically stuttering in rage, "It's that foul, no good for nothing Aiden, he's got Evelyn all wrapped up in his arms- AGAIN!"

Yuki and Kel laughed, Dom however was not so amused, "What do you mean wrapped up in his arms?" Wolset was beyond talking, he just pointed to the couple in question, and sure enough there was Aiden, dressed in the full regalia of the Own: Royal blue tunic, black breeches, white shirt with the black band around his bicep. And snuggled in the circle of his arms her head thrown back laughing at something he had said was Evelyn.

Giles was the next up to his sergeant, "Sir! Something has got to be done!" Dom was busy directing the worst glare he could muster towards his friend, but Aiden's only response was to grin and wink.

Yuki had had enough, "What in Mithros' name is the problem? All I see is Evelyn dancing with a sergeant…" Giles spluttered in indignation, "The problem my lady is that she's dancing with the wrong sergeant! Aiden has no right to go and poach her!"

Raoul happened to come up and catch the end of Giles comment, "Ahh men I do believe you've lost her, she'll always play pranks with you, but Aiden's boys are stealing her heart..."

The only response he got was open mouthed silence, "In fact I might change it so that it's Aiden's squad that accompanies her to Carthak, you lot are likely to get into a rats nest of problems…" The last was half muttered to himself but Dom and his men heard it as though it had been shouted in their faces.

Dom was furiously trying to process the information that had just been dumped on him, Evelyn was leaving?! It took him a couple of seconds to realise that he was the only one that was shocked with this piece of information, "Wolset, do you want to explain to me why you lot knew this was happening and I didn't?"

His corporal didn't pick up on the warning tones in Dom's voice, "Lerant told us a couple of days ago, apparently she's miserable about something and Alanna was telling her not to panic, that in a few short weeks it would be over and she'd be safe in Carthak."

Dom snapped back into his sergeant mode, no way in the black god's realm was Aiden's squad taking Evelyn to Carthak. He needed to recruit and the opportunity to see how the famous Carthaki soldiers worked would be invaluable, besides some part of him, (he didn't want to examine what part) gave a sharp twinge every time he saw Evelyn in his friends arms…

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Evelyn allowed Aiden to guide her out onto the walkway. The stars were out in force; she couldn't help but think that if she stretched up she could reach them. Aiden took in his companion, she was incredible, it was no wonder that Dom couldn't take his eyes off her, and yet here she was, in his arms!

They stood in companionable silence for a while, their breaths emerging in white puffs. If Evelyn noticed that Aiden had wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her snugly into his side she didn't mention it, nor did she protest when he gently spun her around so that her body was flush up against his own, their faces inches apart.

It all seemed too happed so fast then; Aiden leaned in that extra few inches and pressed his lips against hers, his tongue teasing until he got a response from her. It was at the same moment that Dom and Kel spilled laughing out onto the same walkway and Dom froze as he took in the scene before him. Kel too spotted the kissing couple and dragged Dom back inside, he really would have to get over this one, it was clear Evelyn had a new favourite sergeant…

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Evelyn desperately tried to feel something, anything as she kissed Aiden back, he was lovely, everything she could possible want in a man, and he'd made it obvious that he liked her, and yet she felt nothing, no fluttering of the heart, no butterflies in her stomach, nothing…

Aiden drew back from her and tried to meet her eyes, when she refused to look up at him he placed cool fingers under her chin and forced her too look at him, "Its him isn't it?"

Evelyn blanched, "I don't know what you mean." She reached up and tried to kiss him again but he turned so that she only hit his check, "Evelyn, don't. We both know you're in love with a sergeant. My only problem is it isn't me."

"Aiden I…" She was desperate; she did like this man, gods if she had any control over her heart she'd be in his arms letting him hold her! He was perfect for her, kind, caring, sensitive, witty, a brilliant commander, the only slight problem was he was right; she wasn't in love with him…

He looked at her, one last time and kissed her softly on the lips, "It's not your fault, just as long as you know, should you ever fall out of love with him, I'll always be here." In saying that he released his hold on her and walked back inside to the party, leaving her alone on the sidewalk.

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"Men there are certain battles that can't be won no matter how hard we fight. This is one of those battles, it is time to admit defeat…" Dom was cut off by the outraged cries of his remaining eight men, "No way!" "They can't have her, she's always been ours!" "We're the best squad in Third Company, to admit defeat now is to lose everything!"

This last came from Alexei, Dom turned to look at him but when he next spoke he was addressing the entire squad, "Boys, we simply _can't _win this; Evelyn is at this very minute out on the battlements with Aiden, alone with Aiden…" Although he didn't explain what he'd seen Wolset caught on quickly and stormed towards the door, he reached it as Aiden entered and didn't pause to think, punching the young sergeant with all his might.

Dom got there a second too late pulling Wolset back, "Corporal latrine duty for the next fortnight due to an unprovoked attack!" He then grabbed his friends arm and dragged him towards the nearest chair, beckoning for Neal and muttering apologises at the same time.

Aiden shrugged him off, "Its grand Dom don't worry, my boys would do the same to you." He glanced over at Wolset who was shuffling towards him, looking extremely contrite and apologetic, "You won by the way, I could never compete…" With this he stood up and allowed Neal to heal his bleeding nose. He and his men then left, they had second shift sentry duty and needed some sleep before then.

Wolset looked at Dom who in turn glared back, "Sorry Sir, just got a rush of blood to the head, just she reminds me of Fulcher, he'd be devastated to think she was anywhere without us…" Dom's expression softened, he knew how close his two corporals had been, Mithros knew he still missed the other corporal. Wolset noticed the change in expression and ventured to ask his question, "What do you think he meant, Sergeant Aiden that is, when he said 'we'd won?'" Dom was silent for a moment, "I have no idea, absolutely no idea…"

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Well what do you think, three chapters in three days, and this is the longest one I've ever written! A lot of you seem concerned that Kel will get hurt, don't panic I promise she won't…

You know what I'm going to beg / plead / appeal for – reviews!! 


	20. Chapter 20

Dom was lying on his side, one arm gently draped across Kel, the other snugly ensconced under his head

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Dom was lying on his side, one arm gently draped across Kel, the other snugly ensconced under his head. He'd been awake for over an hour now, at first just drinking in the sight of Kel, with her eyelashes curling on her cheek and the warmth of her body beside his, but now, now his thoughts had wandered. He couldn't get the sight of Evelyn and Aiden out of his head, of her fingers entwined in the other sergeant's hair, of his hands holding firmly grasped around her waist, pulling her body close to him. And most of all, of their lips joined together, the sound of her slight gasp…

Once he got over that disturbing image and the feelings it provoked, (he was getting good at ignoring those particular feelings) he was drawn to Aiden's words, "You won, I could never compete…" What on earth did he mean by that?

Just then his train of thought was interrupted by Kel stirring and the mumble of, "Morning Soldier" as she leaned in to claim his lips. All thoughts of Evelyn and Aiden were knocked from his mind, albeit Evelyn's face lingered longer then he would have liked…

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Evelyn was standing on the ramparts when Neal found her. He paused to look at her before approaching. It was strange to think that the girl he had grown up with had become so important in so many lives. She was everything to Raoul, Alanna loved her like a second daughter, King Jonathon worshiped her and every man in the country wanted her in his bed.

Of course it also followed that every women in the country hated her with a passion. He wasn't fooled by her stories; the convent had been hell for her. Bullied by the other girls the Priestesses had tried to make an example of her as she had 'Royal Blood'. He had hoped and prayed that she'd fall in love and live happily ever after, That was what was meant to happen for beautiful princesses wasn't it? Yet she'd fallen for the wrong man, Dom, the same Dom whom he was fairly certain was snuggled up in bed with the second lady knight…

Evelyn glanced to the side and spotted Neal staring at her,

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to stare?"

In saying so she danced over to him, tweaking his nose as she passed. He in turn let out an outraged cry and gave chase, causing her to shriek in delight and hoist her skirts up, twirling and spinning across the yard.

As they collapsed into opposite chairs in the mess hall they drew greetings from many of the men already seated. The warm smiles sent their way were met with answering grins. Neal settled down with a full fry, bacon, fried eggs, sausages, potato bread and tomato's before getting to the topic at hand…

"So, do you think you could cope on the journey to Carthak having Dom so close but not being able to have him?" It was phrased casually but Neal watched her like a hawk. He was rewarded for his efforts by seeing her visibly freeze before carefully remarking, "I don't know what you mean?"

He let out a somewhat forced laugh, "Awh Evelyn don't play coy with me…" As she opened her mouth to protest he waved a hand about haphazardly, and started again,

"Remember it was me that caught the pair of you that night, and your eyes were twinkling brighter then the stars. I recognise that look, it's the one I'm lucky enough to have Yuki direct at me, Buri directs it at Lord Raoul."

Evelyn looked at her hands, the table, her breakfast, anything that wasn't Neal's sympathy filled gaze.

"I'll be fine, I've survived this long. How hard can another couple of months be?" Neal was spared an answer by the timely arrival of Wolset who plonked himself unceremoniously down beside Evelyn.

"Why'd you do it? I mean why? Evelyn and Neal both raised identical eyebrows in the irate Corporals direction. He looked tired, his hair mused from sleep and bags lingering under his eyes.

"Why did I do what exactly?" Evelyn was deliberately playing the dense courtier, it was always amusing to wind the members of a certain squad up.

Wolset actually spluttered at that stage his face contorting as if he was in pain. "You, you…" He broke off and tried to collect his breath and appear rational. Neal who had previously been leaning back into his chair and watching the drama unfold with amusement sobered slightly when he noticed the rest of the squad had taken seats around them and Dom, with Kel beside him had just entered the mess.

Giles took pity on his friend. "What Wolset is trying to ask is what in Mithros' name possessed you to kiss Aiden?" His level brown eyes gazed directly at her, it seemed he was seriously expecting an answer.

"It's not as if he's anything special, Dom is better looking…" Wolset felt he had to make Evelyn see sense; it was what Fulcher would have wanted him to do. The fact that her eyes suddenly seemed to be shooting out sparks and her face had turned pale warned him that this particular venture could possibly be deemed hazardous to his health.

Evelyn grasped the table with white knuckled hands, she loved this squad, she really did but sometimes they drove her mad. Then Wolset made the comment about Aiden, sweet, kind Aiden who loved her. How dare he compare him to Dom!!

The air around the young Duchess cracked with barely suppressed magic, last time she'd come this close to losing control was when the Lord of Stone Mountain petitioned for her hand in marriage.

"Why did I kiss him? I'll tell you why, he's gorgeous, he's a brilliant commander and most of all he loves me! LOVES ME!! That is something that '_your_' sergeant doesn't, he just sees me as a healer, almost an animate object. I would marry Aiden tomorrow if I thought he'd have me!

The Squad and Dom stood stricken, though for slightly different reasons as the irate Healer shoved back form the table and stormed out of the room, barely acknowledging Kel's greeting on the way past.

Dom swallowed only to find his throat and mouth were completely parched dry. He'd been stupid in assuming that she would have forgotten about that night. He hadn't thought his opinion mattered that much to her, or that his actions had affected her so. Calling himself a thousand types of idiot he moved to follow her.

"Don't Dom." It was said softly but Neal may as well have shouted it. A glance at his face confirmed the truth, Neal had known how Evelyn felt. Dom sank warily onto the bench beside his stunned squad. He was only vaguely aware of Kel's presence at his side and her murmuring. Gods what had he done….

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	21. Chapter 21

An unfortunate bucket was blasted out of existence as Evelyn charged past; she ignored the greetings of her adoptive Aunts and Raoul as she stormed towards her room, her robe swishing angrily behind her

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An unfortunate bucket was blasted out of existence as Evelyn charged past; she ignored the greetings of her adoptive Aunts and Raoul as she stormed towards her room, her robe swishing angrily behind her.

Alanna felt an involuntary grin spread across her face, Evelyn reminded her strongly of a cat at that moment in time, a cat with a furiously twitching tail. The grin was wiped away when she paused and felt the magic that the air fairly crackled with. Her goddaughter's mannerisms may be funny but something had obviously upset her and if she lost control she'd be a danger to the camp.

Raoul and Buri had flinched at the look on the Healers face as she passed. Her features could have been carved from granite. The only sign that shed indeed been alive were her flashing eyes, indeed those had been over-bright.

Buri swallowed, every now and again Evelyn would do something to remind the Kimri who she was, a Royal Duchess, and an incredibly powerful mage for all her usual unassuming attitude. At the minute said Duchess was upset and on the verge of losing control, words weren't needed, as one the three Commanders turned on their heels and followed.

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Evelyn ignored the knock at her door and resumed flinging her clothes somewhat haphazardly into a pair of magically enlarged saddle bags. The rage that had blinded her before was fading but an overwhelming sense of loss and weakness was overcoming her. She definitely didn't want to explain her rash actions and words to Dom.

Alanna cocked her head sideways at the door as if it were a puzzle she couldn't quite figure out. Then a piece of wire seemed to appear in her hand, she gave a victorious grin and proceeded to attack the lock, in a matter of seconds the door swung open.

The door was pulled closed equally fast when Alanna caught sight of her niece's face. This was a job for women, Raoul would only bluster and make matters worse. "Raoul I think I heard something about Domitan's squad needing you in the Mess…"

Buri to her credit caught on quickly and shooed her husband in the Mess's direction, but not before reaching up and planting a kiss on his cheek. He grinned at her and sticking his hands in his pockets dandered off with a skip in his walk and a tune whistling from his lips.

Then with a collective breath the two aunts opened the door and stepped into the room. Evelyn turned to face them, defiance etched into every move she made her chin rose, daring them to argue.

Alanna felt pity well up inside her, "Oh Evelyn…"

The façade crumbled, gone was the mighty Duchess and Mage, Evelyn looked every inch the nineteen year old girl she was. All except her eyes, they looked like they'd lived ten lifetimes. She let herself fall back onto the bed and burying her head in her hands allowed the tears to fall.

She felt rather then saw the two older women sit down beside her, each slinging an arm around her shoulder and murmuring comforting nonsense in her ears.

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Raoul wasn't a stupid man, he knew when Buri and Alanna harried him in the direction of the Mess Hall that whatever was wrong with Evelyn was best dealt with by a women. However he hadn't expected to enter the Mess and find it like a morgue. He'd thought they'd been joking when they said Sergeant Domitan and Co needed him. Apparently they'd been serious.

The Mess sat in stunned silence, the dense stillness was occasionally broken by Ryrie, a corporal of Osborn's squad slurping his porridge. No one noticed the Knight Commander standing in the doorway.

Neal tried not to wince at the looks Dom kept shooting him. He looked so bewildered and hurt. Like a small child that is being punished for something that they didn't know was wrong.

Neal didn't even want to look at Kel, she had that cursed mask on, it was plain she knew something was going on that both Dom and Neal knew about but had chosen to keep her in the dark. He made a mental note to avoid the practice courts in the near future in case she decided to take out her feelings on him…

Corporals Wolset and Giles were the first to recover. Wolset's eyes scanned the table, surely someone must know what had happened between Dom and Evelyn that had left the pair of them in such a state? He caught sight of Raoul approaching their table with what could only be described as a compassionate look on his face.

"Sir…"

He trialled off suddenly uncertain, he was a soldier, and would follow his sergeant to death and beyond without fear, but he was strangely afraid of what answer he would get from the Knight Commander if he asked what was wrong.

Raoul sensed that no more would be forth coming from the Corporal and considered the squad seriously for a minute. "Perhaps it would be best for all involved parties if it was Aiden's squad that accompanied the Lady Naxen to Carthak…"

"NO!" Dom was on his feet in one smooth movement, his hands resting on the table top his voice strangely rough. Raoul merely regarded his sergeant silently, for a long moment before voicing his question "Why not?"

"Sir with respect the boys and I have been through a lot with Evelyn. We don't always get along but I can speak for all of us when I say we wouldn't **ever **let any harm come to her. Besides, we need to recruit and while she spends the winter in Corus we could travel to the Desert and train."

It was then that Raoul chose to drop the cat among the pigeons as it were, "Sergeant you do realise that Evelyn can't remain free and unmarried forever? The chances are she'll get betrothed on this trip, perhaps even be asked to remain in Carthak…"

"With respect Sir that has nothing to do with my squad or myself, we would merely be there to ensure that all her _suitors_ were up to the high standard she deserves."

Raoul let out what sounded suspiciously like a sigh, "Alright, if you're sure you can cope, you and your squad will be escorting Evelyn in three days time."

Finally he smiled at the men in front of him, "Mithros you lot and Evelyn alone unsupervised for the entire trip, do try not to kill each other won't you? I do so hate having to train up new members."

Dom relaxed and gave his commander an easy grin, "Of course not Sir, we'll be the perfect gentlemen!"

Neal closed his eyes briefly, this was a recipe for disaster, was he the only one that had noticed Dom's white knuckled grip on the table or the flash of pain in his eyes when Raoul had mentioned Evelyn's supposed betrothal?

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	22. Chapter 22

Autumn arrived with a vengeance that year

Autumn arrived with a vengeance that year. As Evelyn mounted her dappled grey mare the wind tore at her oversized tunic and the rain pounded down, bouncing off the already sodden ground and running to form new rivers down the middle of the road.

Neal head bent against the driving rain couldn't help but think that it was poetic. Neither Evelyn nor Dom had smiled much in the past three days; both had become completely professional, Dom the textbook commander and Evelyn the hard faced court lady.

They had admitted to Kel about that night on the riverbank. Her reaction had been surprisingly fierce; Evelyn had taken the worst of blame in Neal's opinion, Kel had stormed out of the Mess hall and caught Evelyn emerging from her rooms, she'd slapped her hard across the face before Alanna and Buri had managed to restrain the enraged lady knight, they couldn't prevent her from flinging accusations though and she'd called the healer a 'court whore', 'common wench' and 'just like all the others' before uncharacteristically breaking down into sobs.

Dom had arrived just in time to see the bright red hand print across Evelyn's otherwise ashen face and Kel breaking down. He had then let Kel drag him to the practice courts where he let her soundly beat him, the bruises still played across his body, he wouldn't let Neal heal him and Evelyn wouldn't even look at him, never mind touch him. Still in Neal's opinion it was often the verbal that wounded more.

The Lady Knight in question stood beside her healer, she could have screamed in frustration. Dom swore that he loved her that it had been a one off thing with Evelyn, but no matter what Kel had threatened he wouldn't let another squad escort that '_harlot_'.

He'd gestured at his men and explained that they loved Evelyn; this was quite probably the last time they'd ever see her free and he wasn't going to pass that onto another squad. She let out a huff of breath, why was everything so hard? Why couldn't Evelyn have stayed away in Carthak? If there was one thing Lady Knight Keladry hated it was that which she couldn't control, and Evelyn was one of those things…

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Dom hoisted his gear off the bench and gestured for his men to file out. The last couple of days hadn't been a bundle of laughs. He'd told Kel about that kiss and she had been so hurt. He didn't know how to make it up to her, all his promises sounded hollow even to his own ears. Then she'd asked him to stay behind and let another squad go. That retching feeling he got when he thought about Evelyn with someone else hit him full force. He couldn't let her go, not yet, maybe when they got to Carthak it would be easier to say goodbye, but right now he needed her. So he'd make some excuse about his men loving her and left.

Alanna shook her head, why was everyone so blind? It was madness letting that squad leave with Evelyn. It wasn't fair to so many people, Evelyn herself was a wreck, isolated from her friends, hated by hundreds of refugees, and left to love the one man she couldn't have.

Young Sergeant Domitan acted like he'd aged 100 years in three days; he'd gone from the most light-hearted Sergeant in the Own to one with the weight of the world on his shoulders. As for the realms second Lady Knight, well she had that blasted mask firmly in place, but Alanna had heard some of the things she'd flung at Evelyn, for her mask to have cracked that badly she must have been close to breaking point.

All musings were cut short as Raoul stepped away from Dom, clasping him once on the shoulder. Corporal Giles gave three short blasts on the horn and almost silently the gates to Fort Steadfast swung open. Dom swung himself onto his horse and raised his hand, in one smooth movement his squad lined behind him two abreast, Evelyn in the centre. As his hand chopped down they trotted briskly out the gates, the horse's hooves flicking up droplets of mud with every step.

Evelyn felt like the world was pressing in around her, she was being torn from all sides and was powerless to stop it. Kel hated her, Raoul, Alanna and Buri pitied her, Aiden loved her but she wasn't free to give him her heart, Dom couldn't look at her and Neal was disappointed. Turning round for one last look at those she loved her tears mingled freely with the rain.

Raoul lifted one large hand in a salute as his beloved goddaughter looked back. Perhaps the next time he saw her she would be a Queen of a distant land, and he only an ambassador…

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"Evelyn..."

"Don't Neal, I don't want your pity, I deserved everything that I got. She's right, I really am no better than those other whores."

"Don't you DARE say that! Evelyn look at me! I need you to promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Kel is just upset at the minute, I'm sure when you arrive in Corus a letter will be waiting for you."

The look she threw Neal spoke volumes, both of them knew he was offering false comfort, that no such letter would be waiting. Dom riding well ahead of the two heard and flinched.

Wolset dropped back down to ride beside the two healers, "Evelyn, I'm sorry for what I said the other day, I didn't realise there was so much going on." When she smiled briefly at him he felt it was safe to ask his question: "Would you really marry Aiden? I mean if he asked would you?"

Dom's head snapped round as he heard the question, he couldn't help himself, he needed to know what her answer was, and when her eyes met his it was she, not him that looked away first.

"Yes, I think I would." She closed her eyes then and Wolset to his horror saw a single tear leak out, "It doesn't matter though, he won't ask, he deserves someone who can give him their heart and soul…I can't"

Neal glanced sharply at her as the words fell from her lips, he had noticed before they left Steadfast how her smiles had once again gone but now he took in her defeated posture, loose hold on the rains, and tears and vowed to keep a close eye on her in case she tried something stupid in an effort t make up for what she saw as 'her mistake'.

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The moon had just risen in all its glory above the squads little camp when Evelyn slipped from her tent. Dressed in plain brown breeches and jerkin with her hair twisting in the breeze she crept towards the edge of the camp away from the sentries. As she reached the picket line of horses her nimble fingers sought out the rope that tied her mare.

Giles watched as the Duchess left her tent, attempting to blend into the very shadows, it wasn't until she glanced back in his direction that he became truly alarmed. Never in all his life had he seen such hopelessness, fear and determination displayed on one face. While it was too dark to see her eyes he could imagine that they would tell a similar story. In a snap decision he went to find Sir Nealen, something wasn't right.

Evelyn guided Deawyn towards the stream and blessed the rain that had made the ground soft and her horse's hooves silent. She prayed with all her might that no one had seen her leave. It was time to end this war, as Kel had yelled it had occurred to her that a marriage for love wasn't her destiny. Words from Dom's letter kept jumping out at her 'Gods all be damned your country needs you!'

That was when the idea had come, she was a royal duchess, and her marriage to King Muggar could be the start of peace. Her aunt Eve (the woman she was named for) had given her life for the man she loved, now it seemed that she was destined to do the same thing but in a slightly different way.

As she reached the stream the rain came down again and the moon was obscured by a cloud. In the pitch black all her fears came back to haunt her, what if she didn't make it to the Vassa, what if the enemy killed her on sight and didn't let her get to Muggar, what if her marriage made no difference..?

Suddenly a shout pierced the night, 'Evelyn!' It was Neal's voice and he sounded desperate. The time for procrastinating with her own thoughts was over; quickly she flung herself atop Deawyn and urged her into a fast canter. The splashing of hooves through the water seemed like thunderclaps to the overwrought noble maid but as she leaned forward into the billowing grey mane and felt the rain hitting her back it became apparent that on one had heard…


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